Wx Guesser's IO Campaign

It Fits!

2009-10-02T02:38:00.000-07:00

It looks like everything will fit in my assault pack, brief-case, and weapons case.

My pack will look roughly like the jalopy heading west in The Grapes of Wrath, with random little bags hanging off the side.

I have my whole little cargo bay sleeping kit strapped to the top. I've got my inflatable thermarest, camping pillow, and woobie (little camo blanket, among the best pieces of kit we get issued) in a large compression sack. My hammock is in it's pack bag hanging off the side.

So floor or hammock, I'm ready for either.

It helps that we aren't packing our armor since we have to keep it accesible during the flight.

I had to cut out some of the foam in the weapons case to make room for my headset, headphones that both reduce loud noises while amplifying ambient sound and can be hooked into our radios.

I should have cut out more of the foam to create custom spaces for all the M4 magazines, cleaning kit stuff, and random slings, sights, lights, etc. I guess I was reluctant to do so earlier, but the case does belong to my unit and is assigned to me for the rifle that is assigned to me. And I'm pretty much at the end of this rotation and don't care as much about what the weapons storage gnomes back home might say.

My rifle is very clean. I took the time to scrape off every little carbon deposit on the firing pin and the bolt. I then lubed it back up, reassembled it and made sure the sight, light, and laser were all off. Just add ammo and flick a few switches and I'm ready to rock again.

When it goes back into storage I'll need to take the batteries out of everything. Everything but the sight. That belongs to me and is going right back on my rifle at home.

Once we get to Bragg I'll need to rearrange this mess one last time. The armor will need to be packed for real. I'll probably just take my jalopy ruck and toss it in the extra duffel along with some other random junk and just check it as my fourth piece of checked bags.

My briefcase will be my only real carry-on for the commercial flights home.

The bag drag to the lodging at Bragg, lodging to my ride, the curb to the terminal, and then from the baggage claim to my ride at my home unit will be rough. Four giant bags with only the weapons case being within weight limits.

Maybe that's the real reason we PT.

And before I forget, I got a copy of an ancient (late 60's) SOWT recruiting film. It starts with this incredible footage of an old-school HALO jump (High Altitude/Low Opening). Classic.

But He-Man knuckle draggers that we are, I found 13 Going on 30 on in the team room here.

They said it was the only thing on.

The Waiting Game

2009-10-01T10:37:00.000-07:00

All that's left is to pack.

And clean my rifle. I had a few full magazines left that I didn't get to fire off last night, but I just traded them for empties. Once everything is cleaned and lubed, I'll turn my weapons case in to where we are consolidating them.

I guess there are still a couple last loose ends to tie up too.

I need to turn in my acces badges, which I've been saving for the last minute. Then I'll turn in the keys to my hooch, which is now my replacement's hooch, and then get a key to the temporary room where the other guys are staying.

Everything is scheduled with set show times for the last days.

They made reservations for my flight back my home unit from Bragg, but I'm going to try to re-book the flight. I want the first available flight, not a leisurely slow day. I just need to double check the I can, in fact, take the earliest flight back the morning after we arrive in the North Carolina. I'm working under the assumption that they just booked later flights so people could sleep in, but they may have padded the schedule to ensure everything was taken off the aircraft and accessible to us.

I'll find out.

Meanwhile, back at home, my wife is trying to manage the cats and the dog. We're scheduling training classes for the dog and introducing her to all our neighbors.

I have verified all the dates for my post-deployment leave and even drafted the paperwork. All goes well I'll just sign it when I get back and be done.

Almost an entire month of paid leave with full benefits and a fixed pension plan.

Try finding that in this economy.

Decision Point

2009-09-30T02:45:00.000-07:00

I was told that we were authorized to wear ACUs, the Army uniform, instead of ABUs, the Air Force uniform, for the trip home.

I hope that's true because all my ABUs are now packed on the cargo container. I won't be able to get to them until we get back. For me anyway, good or bad, the decision has been made.

Oh well. I'm not particularly worried.

If that is the only hiccup, then we're doing pretty good.

I did manage to cram all my stuff in to two large bags, have a spare duffel bag in case the airlines say that either of my bags is too heavy. My orders authorize excess baggage, and I have plenty of excess baggage.

I have to say that while it can be frustrating travelling on someone else's schedule, as a whole, going to and from the theater as part of one big happy AF ground SOF team has its perks. It is allowing me to draw on support resources that the smaller unit I'm augmenting does not have.

My redeployment is scheduled for me. They just tell me when to show up and when our updated meetings are. Upon arrival back in the states, my room at our stops and on base is already reserved for me. They book my flight to my home unit from Bragg. They even drive me to the airport.

Really, that is how it should be in many ways. But my specialty is small and the Active Duty side is the busiest career field in the Air Force. On any given day there may not be anyone at our small detachments to pick up a guy coming home or drive him to the airport. And as a smaller unit, we don't have the support resources of some of larger teams.

My next challenges for redeployment are to double check that my car is in fact ready and waiting for me at my home unit when I get back and that someone is there to pick me up at the airport.

Someone will be. It just takes planning, since we have only one guy in the office full time. And I don't have an actual flight reserved just yet.

I do have plenty of free time to figure it out though. All I really have left to do is pack my carry-on bag and kill off the rest of my ammo.

I've already drafted my return travel voucher to save time when I get back. Receipts from earlier are scanned in already and saved in my email.

I will probably double check how the recovery time built in to my orders works so that I can also file my leave paperwork right away. I should be on orders but completely free through the end of October between the 10-15 days of automatic recovery time and the rest of the leave I've earned during this trip.

That time isn't all accounted for just yet, but much of it will be spent training our new dog while making sure our cats do not feel neglected.

I also need to get everything back in order to start up again at school. I need to start finding a summer job in a delightful market for legal interns. And I need to register for the Patent Bar exam and get serious about studying again.

Oh, and bang out everything on my wife's to-do list.

Though given the state of the legal job market... it is incredibly tempting to fill my next summer with a few more training courses and exercises. Getting paid to skydive and possible scuba dive (as painful and horrible as military dive training is while it weans you off that ugly Oxygen habit)--getting fairly well paid and earning points towards an actual real pension--is very very tempting.

Now that I've sufficiently scared my Mother and maybe have my wife's eyeballs rolled so far back into her head that she actually nees our dog to get around town... I know my second summer of law school is an investment in a future career.

And it's gone...

2009-09-29T10:18:00.000-07:00

My mustache. It's gone.

I don't recognize myself in the mirror.

The team I flew in with here was taking an official picture and they told me my mustache had to be within regs. I was planning to shave it anyway, but I wanted it logged in our official picture for posterity.

No joy.

Technically they were in the right by enforcing uniform regs. But most of the time we aren't really sticklers for it. But I guess we need to be all gussied up to go home.

Like I said, it had to go anyway. It was getting annoying.

And my wife told me it had to go.

So it went.

Of course, one of the other guys in the JOC with a mustache thinks I'm a failure now. He decided early on that he was committing to his mustache. It's not going until he gets back home. He may trim it back in to regulation if someone bothers him about it, but that's about it.

In the JOC, no one cared.

Silly Air Force.

Day Off

2009-09-28T14:54:00.000-07:00

Today was my first day off. I've been looking forward to it for a while now, ever since I realized that it was probably going to work out.

Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of atonement, isn't usually something one gets excited about and looks forward to. Being forced to take stock of things and acknowledge our sins is very much a good thing. It's just not fun. Neither is fasting for 25 hours.

However, it was the first holiday I'd really be able to observe in anything close to a proper manner without having to worry about work. That was really nice on many levels.

As a whole though, regular days off here would drive me nuts. If a unit is regularly giving people a day off, then they need to send people home.

Since I am pretty much turned over and awaiting my own trip back, I have some time on my hands. It will involve PT, hitting the range, and putting the last touches on my After Action Report.

I do kind of flame the Guard Bureau and AFSOC for our equipment issues. I also talked to some other people who compile such things about this problem. And I included it in my response to some draft policies AFSOC is finalizing.

I'm shotgunning it out there. There is a problem. I want it fixed. I don't care who gets embarrassed about it. I'm right and being nice hasn't worked.

It is nice to see some draft policies to standardize training needs and goals across our community. It is pretty agressive with a very long list of tasks we need to be able to perform and maintain proficiency on.

My key response was that we can do it. But to get there they need to stop screwing around and get us slots to the necessary courses, give us the necessary equipment... they need to fund it. Otherwise it is meaningless paper.

Maintaining a special operations unit is expensive.

I guess the positive is that it is looking more and more likely that I'll get to go to HALO school in the future. That should be fun, though it will be one more thing to stay current on.

Apparently some of us may have to go to dive school too. That one is a real kick in the pants but if any of my guys will have to go then I should too. The real benefit, aside from a new infiltration skill, is that often military dive trips are real boondoggles.

It is mission essential to go to (insert major tropical paradise location) to ensure good conditions for the currency dive...

...but I have doubts that slots and money will follow anytime soon.

I can't really be bothered by it though. I'm making arrangements for return travel. All is well.

Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

2009-09-25T05:04:00.000-07:00

It was actually a few days ago.

First, my truck died. It's not really mine, but I control the keys and have regular access to it. It was working just fine, I parked it for a minute to pick up some papers, and then it was dead.

Fine. So I got it jump started in the morning. It happens. I drove back to pick up a bunch of equipment to put in our cargo container and left the engine running so that the battery could keep charging while I loaded the vehicle. Once it was loaded I turned around and it stalled as I shifted it from Reverse to Drive.

Awesome.

Not quite the middle of the road, but close to it. And very very stuck. No lights turning on. Nothing.

Awesome.

I crammed all the equipment from the bed of the truck into the cab and locked the doors. I walked over the the vehicle maintenance shed and they gave me the paper work to submit a work order. It sat on my desk while other fires came up and had to be put out.

The truck continued to sit in the middle of the road, near the hooches. I actually walked by and heard a young female NCO tell a senior NCO that the truck was making her paranoid that someone was stalking them, they way it just sat there by her hooch.

I had to tell her the backstory, which made her full much better. I also offered to write "Free Candy" in messy handwriting on the otherwise dusty white truck so as to complete the effect.

I didn't.

Anyway, just after the truck broke I found out that an all too common and oft repeated screw up was happening again. It was something I'd actually taken great pains to warn about. Now it looked like it would end up causing a lot of trouble for two of our Airmen... not cool.

Thus began a crazy scramble of emails, internet chat, and international phone calls to track down the issue and resolve it.

The good news was that while I may have never gotten any response to my warnings, and while they were most likely lost in cyberspace or ignored, the problems I'd warned about were not the actual cause of the problem.

It was a stupid database management problem. Another issue that often comes up and is known about, but yet to be fixed.

Fortunately my final After Actions Report has not been submitted yet. I'll be updating it for these last little hiccups.

There were a bunch of other little things that day, but it's all a bit of a haze now.

The Airmen are taken care of.

The truck is being fixed. A more complicated process than it should be, but it's being fixed.

Our flight home is in the final planning stages.

My car will be running with good tires and working brakes when I get back.

All is well.

...provided Michigan doesn't choke. They're down in the fourth quarter right now. I'm getting along pretty well with the OSU guy that sits next to me right now. I'd hate to have to shoot him this close to the end of his rotation.

Goodbye/Hello

2009-09-23T11:46:00.000-07:00

The air conditioning briefly went out in the JOC when the main generator went down. It happens.

A senior NCO pointed out that it was just like in Jurrasic Park when the had to reset the system to turn various components back on.

He then proceeded to give his best impersonation of a velociraptor. It sounded like an angry goat.

Maybe they did sound like angry goats. No one called him out on it.

It is possible he hunted them when he was younger...

--------

But the real event of the day was my formal farewell at a briefing for the boss... followed almost immediately by me giving my normal briefing as if nothing happened. It's a little odd.

The whole farewell process is kind of funny. The boss doesn't know many of us. He's busy in the rarified air of command. However, he wants to personally and publicly recognize us before we all leave.

In order to do this there is a standardized form with some basic questions like our name, home unit, family info, hobbies, etc. I filled it out.

So according to my official bio:

I'm married to an almost-doctor.

I live in city X, but my unit is in city Y and I'm a fan of football team Z--this is key because all three cities are big football towns. X and Y are rivals, by Z is a neutral party and it always confuses people that I'm not a fan of teams X or Y.

My hobbies are fixing the garage door, sharpening hte kitchen knives, and anything else on my wife's to-do list for me.

My job was to tell him when it would be hot, dusty or hot and dusty. The joke is always that we have the easiest job since it will always be hot and dusty. But how hot? How dusty?... whatever.

I got a chance to say a few words afterwards. I thought about pretending to have a long speech since everyone is sitting there waiting.

I didn't though. I just said that it's been an honor and I'll probably see many of them again there, Afghanistan, or the next one.

It's a small community and an odd world.

In then end the boss shook my hand and gave me a coin. Everyone gets a coin.

It's not quite as un-special as when I got one of Gen Petraus's coins from someone at the Pentagon that had a drawer full of them, but close. It will go in my little coin collection in the closet in the back room.

And just like how I had to give my normal briefing after this little farewell ceremony, tomorrow I go back to work a normal day.

To finish it off, I got my flu shot.

Mark Twain Wins Again

2009-09-21T05:42:00.000-07:00

Someone stopped me while I was walking and share these words of wisdom from Mark Twain: "Everybody talks about the weather but no one does anything about it."

I usually have a good response, but I had nothing for that. I like to think that I do something about the weather, but it's more mitigation or planning than it is actually affecting the weather. It isn't affecting the weather. A whole conversation like that went through my head as I passed this guy in the street.

I just smiled and nodded.

Back in the JOC, I noticed a buddy of mine had a new screensaver on his computer. It declared that "I love (insert term for a part of the male anatomy)."

You can trash talk about anything you want, but need to make sure your computer is locked when you're away if you do.

I've been careful ever since college football season started... but the OSU fan is all talk.

I am currently the undisputed Snood champion in the JOC. I have the top score on the "Evil" difficulty setting. I came back from an errand to an ominous sticky note on my desk with a SEAL's top score. He said his was the real top score since my claims were unsubstantiated.

I showed him the record on my computer. He went back to his desk in defeat.

He then spent the rest of the day trying to break my record.

I pointed out helpfully that his top score didn't even make the Top 10 on my computer.

Meanwhile, I overheard two older senior NCOs discuss their diets over a snack of coffee and prunes. Yes... coffee AND prunes. They are actively trying to make the rest of us suffer.

We regularly tease one of them because he's been around forever. His truck is older than some of us and he got the truck when finished SEAL training.

There are senior officers here that he instructed as one of the supervising instructors at the SEAL course.

And he loves sharing the results of his prunes.

Me, I'm sharing lots of M&Ms. My aunt and uncle were kind enough to send a cake and over 5 lbs of M&Ms.

The cake is amazing. It is always miraculous how some baked goods survive the trip. I immediately tore off a few chunks after dinner. I offerd to share the cake too but so far there were no takers.

One guy had a dip in, so he couldn't eat One guy said he was cutting back, which may be true. I assured them that the ragged edges were from me tearing off pieces and not from me taking bites right out of the cake.

The M&Ms are in the communal snack pit. It was way too likely that I'd eat them all myself if I didn't put them there right away.

Incidentally, the senior SEAL NCO I mentioned above is expecting a shipment of M&Ms too.

And I'm a little closer to closing out all of my projects. It is exciting in a geeky way. It is satisfying to be able to point to somethings and say that I made them happen. More importantly, it is satisfying to be able to hand over a neat and tidy position to the next guy.

...and a neat and tidy hooch for the next guy. I need to start packing up my stuff.

A little taste of home...

2009-09-20T09:59:00.000-07:00

I received a package from home Just before the holiday began. It had magazines and challah and cookies and cupcake versions of the cakes my mom makes every year for the Jewish holidays.

The cupcakes are gone now. I didn't share. I haven't been sharing the challah either. Those are mine. Those are special for the holiday.

The other cookies I'm sharing. Once again the chocolate/white chocolate chip cookies seem to crumble spontaneously. There were whole cookies in the bag when I put it on the share counter. No one went at the bag with a hammer... and for all the weird things we see regularly, that would have stuck out.

So we don't know how the cookie crumbles... only that it does.

That was a terrible attempt at profound humor.

It was a little weird straddling two worlds. In my hooch it was Rosh Hoshannah. Outside my hooch, it was another day at war.

On this particular day we paid our respects to another fallen brother. We lost a Special Forces soldier during a mission a few weeks ago. Today was the memorial service.

The weather cooperated. A series of storms hit us last night. It rained. It actually rained. But the skies cleared in time for our formation.

On a much lighter note, there is something magical about the first rain of the season. At first, it was just wind. It kicked up all the dust in the area. It smelled horrible.

Then came the thunder. And lightning. So much lightning.

Finally a first furtive rain drop. Then another. And then it began raining mud as the dust in the air met the water droplets.

And then... rain. Good old fashioned rain.

Like a good weather man I tied down a bunch of equipment before the storm hit.

I was also able to watch the Michigan game. It happened to be on in the MWR so I caught the second half after my shift. The first half had me a little concerned but it worked out OK in the end.

And I finally got called out on my mustache. It had to happen. It is not a regulation mustache. It is a cheesy and unkempt mustache that looks absolutely ridiculous.

I was told that it has to be back in regs by the time I get off the plane back at Bragg/Pope AFB. It doesn't bother me. That is the right answer. It was only a matter of time until someone pointed it out.

It is nice to work in a place where nobody cares about such things though. If you perform, you get leeway. If you are bad at your job, you will get nailed for every little thing.

So I guess I'm doing OK.

Anyway, I'll just shave this thing on the way home. I only grew it because I was bored and it seemed like something amusing to do. Trimming it and keeping it within regulations is way too much effort.

They say that the military can suck the fun out of everything. You can skydive, but you have to do it with 100lbs of gear strapped to your body... at night. And show up a few hours early, get rigged up, and then wait...

... and now they are taking the fun out of the mustache. Oh well.

My wife told me it needs to be go anyway.

So no mustache and I'm letting my hair grow out some for her. I spoil her.

New Year

2009-09-18T04:42:00.000-07:00

Just have time for a quick note...

I would like to wish a Shannah Tovah to all my friends, family, and other Jewish readers.

I guess I can wish a Shannah Tovah to my non-Jewish friends, family, and other uncategorized and hapless folks who have stumbed on my blog too.

It will be an odd holiday here. They are all odd holidays here.

But things are on the verge of a new start. Coming home.

I'm ready.

Finish Strong

2009-09-16T11:48:00.000-07:00

Today was a good day.

One of my projects finally got the go-ahead after months of coordination. Sweet. I'm still not sure if I'll be able to do the final implementation myself now, but it will be completely primed and ready to go when the next guy gets here.

Another issue that seemed to crop up periodically has come to its periodic peaceful conclusion. It is far from solved, but at least it won't be bothering the next crew for a while.

I finished my outprocessing. Well, there is one last step, but that isn't until I'm really about to get on the plane out of here. It is one less thing hanging over my head.

One of the few things left on my to-do list are to finish my After-Action Report on this trip. It will cover everything from the good/bad of the training process to lessons learned on this trip. My partner and I will work together on it.

I suspect he'll just read over what I write, make a few recommendations, and we'll call it a day.

I also need to pack up. I can fly home in my ACUs, the Army uniform I've been wearing. I think the only time I wore my AF uniforms was on the flight here.

AF leadership, if you are reading this... the uniform design is an absurd insult to all Airmen. Just so you know.

I'm not a fan.

And I just found out that my car is running again and the bees that had moved in are now gone. Still needs new tires though, and possible some brake work.

It will be fixed by the time I get back. I'm not walking all the way home.

That Was Easy...

2009-09-15T12:16:00.000-07:00

So I'm pretty much outprocessed.

I have a list of offices that needed to sign my outprocessing sheet. I went to them. People signed it.

Only a few people asked any questions or looked anything up or processed anything to outprocess me. Only one person kept a record of who he outprocessed.

But I needed all of those signatures in order to get the boss's signature. With his signature I can go the personnel office and have them give me my walking papers.

Presumably the personnel office does some actual "processing."

All I know is I walked all over collecting autographs.

Of course, I'm way ahead of the game. But this way my paperwork will all be in order by the time the replacements show up. I'll be able all set to go and therefore able to focus on them and getting them set.

Of course I know them and they are all experienced guys. They won't need much more than a high-five.

And so it begins to end...

2009-09-14T04:40:00.000-07:00

I've started outprocessing. I've got plenty of time but why wait?
When my replacement gets here I want to be able to focus completely on getting him spun up and settled in.

I'd like to say that all of my projects are finished. They aren't. They should all be either done or in some clean state waiting for the next guy. I guess we can't win the war in one rotation.

Unfortunately there is one issue that has been a festering wound of sorts. Not a major issue, but it seems to erupt everytime we get ready to switch out. It's really someone else's issue, but it can impact our workload and day-to-day ops.

It hit the guy I replaced the day before I showed up. It's hitting me again now. It's like they know...

Oh well. I'll fix it. Or get guidance and at least leave it to the next guy in some sort of steady state of wrongness.

Snood

2009-09-13T04:55:00.000-07:00

I was determined to finish strong. It is easy to mail it in during the last few weeks of a deployment on a staff. You know your job. You know the routine. You know all the tricks.

But you are there to support the teams in the field. This whole elaborate staff and high-tech JOC all exist to support thow combined US and Iraqi teams that are out there catching bad guys.

They deserve our best effort. I need to stay motivated for them.

But... but... we found Snood on the network drive! Snood is a silly game that I first found in high school. Someone put it on a bunch of our school computers.

In a fit of boredom, I loaded it on to my computer at NASA during a very slow summer internship. I competed against a friend of mine who was also having a slow summer... though not as slow as mine. Of course.

And now Snood has found me here, at my most vulnerable. I must fight it, but I can't resist.

I'm sure once I beat it, I'll be done and able to function again.

8 Years.

2009-09-11T03:52:00.000-07:00

I had a whole post about the 9/11 anniversary that I had drafted. It doesn't matter where I was when it happened. Looking around the JOC at some of my co-workers I realized that what matters is where they were a few weeks later.

Many of the senior NCOs and some of the officers I've gotten to work with this rotation were among the first in to Afghanistan in 2001. They were doing the job while I was still a cadet watching it on the news.

At dinner on Friday, while AFN News had MSNBC replaying their coverage from that day, we did talk a little about where we were when we heard. Silly me, 8 years ago, I was worried the war would be over without me.

When I said that we looked around the room, counted rotations, thought of friends in Afghanistan, thought of our future rotations in Afghanistan, future rotations in other garden spots (war being how Americans learn geography), and just laughed.

I spent Friday much as I'd spent most of the week... shamming.

Not really shamming. I was doing legitimate training. It just felt like shamming because I wasn't in the JOC, though I did get all my work done too.

After the training on the new grenade launcher and the combat marksmanship course, I got to attend an AMOUT course--Advanced Military Operations in Urban Terrain. We reviewed how to fight building-to-building and room-to-room.

Fighting within a room has been referred to as an armed ballet. Everyone has assigned maneuvers and everything has to flow smoothly in order to be successful. One thing emphasized in combat marksmanship is to never move backwards. That is key going through a building.

You are an unstoppable wave overwhelming all resistance.

One of the instructors pointed out that he has never had to fire his weapon in combat in his multiple tours here with Special Forces teams. The combination of surprise, speed, and violence of action overcame any thought the enemy had of resisting.

It doesn't always work that way. But it vividly illustrates the point of how aggressively you move.

The final drill was very similar to many of the drills we rehearsed during our train-up for this deployment. We had to react to an ambush, bail out of "disabled" vehicles, move from cover to cover in a coordinated manner, clear a building and make a defensible position.

For the scenario I got to play gunner--as in the guy running the big turret gun. As the ranking officer I would usually be playing the commander. But I asked the instructor what he wanted to do and he wanted to let one of the junior guys get some leadership experience.

It was fine by me. I never get to just play. It was also interesting to view it from that perspective.

A few times I barked some instructions. I couldn't help myself. Not so much to take over but to tell my little fire team how to better use the available cover. I'm by no means the tactical expert that I should be, but this was something drummed in to us in past courses.

If you do it right, then the only thing the enemy can see is the barrel of your gun. If that. Then the enemy should be too dead to continue shooting at you or your buddies.

If you do it wrong then you will be too dead to help anyone.

A good time was had by all. Well, maybe not all. It isn't for everyone. Some people were there to take an opportunity to learn something new. Running around in their armor, charging through doors, owning a room... some people lack the necessary agression or passion for it. They let themselves get tired when their bodies could keep going.

At work, at my real job in the JOC, I'm prepping for my departure. I've started drafting my after action report. I've taken some notes throughout, dating back to the training period. I'm also trying to leave my various projects in some state of conclusion so things are tidy for my replacement.

I also managed to crush my finger while doing some Renegade Rows with our JOC kettlebells. Oops. It's mostly healed now. I was pretty good about icing it right away.

Of course there was a loud crash and everyone stopped to look. And of course, I was "fine." I always hold frozen water bottles for ten on, ten off... why do you ask?

Won't Happen Again

2009-09-10T03:55:00.000-07:00

I forgot to mention that in the middle of the refresher course on the range, I had to run off to a meeting.

My ID card was still in the JOC. My access badge was in my hooch. The key to my hooch was in an admin pouch on my armor carrier.

Those three thoughts crossed my mind as I got to the entry control point for my meeting.

I explained it the to the guard. It was way too convoluted a story for all but the most creative of evil infiltrators. Of course, at that moment it was a guard I didn't recognize.

Fortunately a senior NCO that did recognize me happened to be walking by. He asked why I needed a visitor's badge. He then asked if I had any ID whatsoever.

I pointed sheepishly to the nametape on the sleeve of my sweaty combat shirt.

He told the guard that he would vouch for me. I told the NCO that is was a learning experience, it wouldn't happen again.

He just shook his head and said he hoped so.

I Smell Terrible

2009-09-09T11:03:00.000-07:00

Today was a crazy but productive and enjoyable day.

I took a combat marksmanship class that focused on the M4, our service rifle. It is sad to say but after two tours in Iraq, this is the first time I've actually run around in full kit during the daytime heat.

It's hot. Even wearing a combat shirt, a thinner uniform with thinner t-shirt material under where your armor is, I still sweat like, um, something that sweats a lot. Unfortanately, after this much time working with the Army, I am unable to think of metaphors that can be posted on a family blog.

So now my combat shirt looks like it was dunked in a pond. A smelly smelly pond.

I drank many bottles of water and chugged a bottle of Gatorade but have peed only once. Knowing my luck, I'll have to wake up multiple times during the night as my body catches up with all the water. Oh well.

In order to fit the course in to my schedule I came in early and had to take a few breaks from the class to get my work done. It's annoying when the actual war intrudes on my training time, but such is the nature of the beast.

The other folks in the JOC were both encouraging me to hit the course and jealous that I was able to escape and have some fun. I guess it is an advantage of being a forecaster... I should know when I'll be able to step out.

The course itself focused mostly on some intermediate-level drills. It wasn't really new material, but it was presented in new ways and with a few new methods.

They say that amateurs practice until they get it right and that professionals practice until they can't get it wrong. That as evident in how the course was taught. The drills are pretty universal. But the more highly trained units run through them more often.

I always learn something new during this type of training, which is great. Even more importantly, I think, is the opportunity to refresh and sustain these skills. As an officer, especially an officer in the Guard, these opportunities are too rare. Muscle memory is frighteningly perishable.

I realize now that I'll just need to block time both here and at home to do dry fire practice in order to build and maintain the all important muscle memory. It isn't a perfect solution, but will go a long way towards maintaining my skills.

The other nice piece is that I may get the chance to help coach if they do this course again while I'm here. I'm not really ready to teach yet, but I'm confident that with some assistance I can run many of these drills for my guys back home.

The final advantage of having gone to this course was the ability to test out my equipment set up. It is always a work in progress as you learn new tricks, exchange ideas, and better mousetraps become available. In this case, it was my first chance to really beat up my sight from my rifle back home. I also get to test my new sling, which is really just a adjustable length piece of webbing attached to the shoulder of my armor.

So, all in all, a good day.

Except for rolling over my glasses. But I bent them back in to shape.

Myself Again

2009-09-08T12:30:00.000-07:00

I came in this morning and was still a little mesmerized by the weather. I told my NCO about it.

He said that he was worried about me and that it was time for me to leave. I think he's right.

But I can't leave just yet, so I signed up for some therapy instead.

A few hours of playing with a Mark-14 Grenade Launcher, a few explosions, and all is well with the world.

It even improved my posture. My knuckles are dragging again.

OK, so nothing actually exploded. We just used training rounds that marked the the target with some colored paint/dust. It was still fun. Something new and different.

Really, I like having my mind blown by nature. It's a nice reminder.

I also like playing with our various toys. All goes well I'll get some more trigger time on various weapons my unit doesn't have back home. Hopefully some other little training/refresher sessions too.

It's a little ironic, but it's easy to forget things or for skills to atrophy while deployed. You often end up working really hard on a relatively narrow sub-set of your job.

If it works out, then it will be great to reengage on some of tactical skills so I'm more on the ball when I get back. It is especially important for me because I don't know when my next real training opportunities will be once I go back to a more traditional Guard schedule. I need to take what I can get now.

Everything would be wonderful except apparently my car back home has a flat tire, dead battery, the hood latch is rusted stuck, the trunk is full of water, and there are bees living in a passenger door. So I'm told.

I'm a little curious how bees can move in and the battery can die if the car is being started regularly. I can only laugh from here. And call my insurance company.

Geeking Out

2009-09-07T12:52:00.000-07:00

I'm not a classic weather geek. I kind of stumbled in to the field as means of being involved in operations and a pathway into Special Tactics when the Air Force was trying to force me to be an Engineer. Not an engineer that made things, but a guy with an engineering degree who oversaw purchase programs from people who did make things.

Operations has always been the appeal. The science is interesting, don't get me wrong, but it is mostly a means to an end for me. I don't have a rain gauge at home and (unlike more than a few fellow weather troops, even SOWT guys) I've never spent a summer chasing tornados. Or even thought about. Though I admit that, while nothing like the movie Twister, it's a respectable way to let the inner geek out.

Me... my inner geek came out watching satellite imagery of a outflow from thunderstorms over the desert and then watching the interaction of the dust from different sources as they converged on each other.

An outflow is the flow of wind from a collapsing cloud. It is one of nature's great examples of what went up coming back down. Especially over the desert, when a storm either exhausts itself or the different atmospheric conditions that support its growth are no longer all present, this incredible force of nature becomes quite fragile. It behaves much like an imploding skyscraper.

And if you've ever seen footage of an imploding building, you see all the air compressed by the falling mass suddenly pushed outward in all directions. When this happens over a dry desert, and the falling building is actually tens of thousands of feet of cloud airbursting overhead... well, it kicks up a lot of dust.

It just so happens that there was a low pressure center at the surface and some of the dust got caught up in the great counterclock wise circulation of the air. As ti the low moved to the northeast, the dust circulation was warped into a classic comma shape. It was like a wind tunnel experiement using Iraqi dust instead of colored smoke to demonstrate how the atmosphere works.

Where dust from and outflow came crashing into the dust around the low in a grand head-on collision, it was all forced upward like mountains forming where tectonic plates make contact.

The whole thing was so chaotic and so ordered at the same time.

Courtesy of modern technology, I got to watch it in a false color animation that took hours of imagery and played it over the course of seconds. The unnatural hues were strangely beautiful.

Of course, the whole thing is also an incredible pain. There may be an underlying order to these storms, but their predictability is painfully limited.

So it goes.

I was both humbled and awed by the weather today. I guess that's something.

Fight! Fight! Fight!

2009-09-05T10:15:00.001-07:00

There is one SEAL officer here who may have bitten off more than he can chew. Or was rumored to have bitten off more than he could chew. Or is being set up.

Somehow it appears that he challenged a young female NCO to a fight. Or someone challenged her on his behalf.

I don't really know hot it got started.

Neither does he.

All I know is that every time one of the guys involved sees her, they tell trash talk on his behalf.

She gives it right back. One time she saw him, got his attention, and just punched her fist into her other hand and twisted it. Then she nodded at him and walked away.

Rumors began circulating that she was training privately with the combatives instructor. He denies it.

He, as a Green Beret, would love to brag that he trained the girl who beat up a Navy SEAL. So I believe him when he says no.

To put it all in persepective, the SEAL in question is about my size, but I've got 10-15 pounds on him.

The female in question is about average height. She clearly works out, so she's fit but not huge by any means. But she talks a good game.

I don't think the SEAL is intimidated, but he is a little bewildered by the whole thing.

It's fun to watch. Especially because she can say pretty much whatever she wants, but a SEAL officer can't really threaten to pummel a young female NCO and then say "she started it."

Some of the guys, led by one of his fellow SEAL officers, are playing another prank on this same guy.

They are leaving cartoonish drawings of a certain part of the male anatomy hidden on his desk, in his papers, etc.

I think it dates back to a prank war of sorts from back home. Or they are bored and need to channel their creative energy in a healthy direction.

Not really sure.

Supportive Cast

2009-09-03T11:16:00.000-07:00

So earlier in the tour I was offered a great deal on a rifle. Now we also have guys shopping for kayaks. Another guy is offering tips on shopping for climbing equipment.

I've been good. I haven't actually bought any of these toys.

Besides, a lot of my climbing equipment was free... to me. My wife already has a harness.

Really all we need is our own rope and some quickdraws, as someone here reminded me and any rock would become our playground.

We already want kayaks.

Either it's a great place to work because we all have the same interests, or it is a dangerous place to work because we encourage each other's habits.

I guess it's good. Not only do we serve our great nation, but I'm pretty sure that a bunch of meat eaters stuck in JOCs with internet connections will single-handedly revive consumer spending.

Our tax-free combat pay at work.

I also found NCIS on our entertainment drive. This is yet another good and bad development.

It's an absurdly cheesy show that has nothing to do with how the real NCIS, or any actual Federal Special Agents, operates. But it's very entertaining.

While talking about it on the way back from chow, I realized that I attack TV series the same way I attack books. So I'll probably charge through this pretty quick.

Just like I killed yet another Grisham book last night. Now on the The World According to Garp and then a Tom Wolfe book I found lying around.

I'm also borrowing a book on the Secret Service that someone here just read. It is terrible. But since our Stars and Stripes delivery is inconsistent, it serves it's purpose.

We also took delivery of the JOC's new pull-up bar.

And apparently whoever, um, lent us some of the kettlebells for the JOC decided that they didn't want to "lend" them out. So some have been returned. Discreetly.

It's too bad, I got to give a brief this morning in the middle of a windmill set. Not only does this war take me far away from home, repeatedly, for months on end. But now it intrudes on my mid-shift PT.

It's just not fair.

We also do operational stuff. I promise.

Refresh

2009-09-02T03:38:00.001-07:00

Congratulations to my sister who has officially found gainful employment. To find a position in a non-profit in this environment is really very impressive.

That's awesome.

I got to take a quick radio class this morning. It was mosty to review, but also to gain exposure to another radio system that I've never gotten to play with.

It's nice that our basic inter-team radio, today's high speed answer to the walkie-talkie of days of yore, is pretty straightforward.

I don't get to play with it as often as I should. LIke anything else, the skills are perishable. I keep quick reference guides and checklists handy, but nothing relaces just sitting with it and hitting all the buttons, cycling through all the menus, etc.

As for the new radio, it was really a basic familiarization. We don't use it very often, but we also can find ourselves working with a variety of different units that use a variety of different types of radio.

Maybe it's from spending too much time with the Army, maybe it is a general SOF attitude, but my approach is that if everyone else is dead, I need to be able to work their kit. Not necessarily as an expert, but well enough to save my team and myself.

The radio guys gave me a few more checklists and some powerpoints I can review and use to teach my guys back home.

They also gave me an extra antenna that one of them made. The nice thing about it is that is a long, plastic coated wire that can be weaved throught the attachment loops on my vest. That way it is both fully extended but out of the way.

So now my personal kit includes a custom antenna and a communications headset. My unit back home still doesn't have our own radios or the cables to connect my headset to the radio. However, there are radios and cables I can borrow here and that I've been able to borrow for exercises.

Babysteps, I guess.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, apparently having Laura Ingraham debate a founder of Code Pink qualifies as news.

The only way to settle it is for the two of them to fight. Not because I condone violence, but because I hope it would shut them up for a while.

The world would be a better place if Fox News took the batteries out of all of their angry stepford anchors and Code Pink types went back to their hydroponic indoor communes and stopped stealing my oxygen.

It would be a good start.

A New Front

2009-09-01T12:51:00.000-07:00

It is almost football season.

Pre-season games are on AFN Sports. Tom Brady may be hurt again. College rankings have been released.

I got suckered in to a fantasy football league. A fellow AF officer pestered me in to it. I never care enough to follow through with these things. My teams just kind of sit there. All my players could be on bye weeks or injured or incarcerated and they'll still be starting for me.

But it made the guy happy that I joined. I'm glad to help.

More importantly... the first game of the college season is coming up.

One of the guys here is an Ohio State grad. It just goes to show that we are shorthanded and will take what we can get. Somehow they even gave him a security clearance.

Anyway, his mom sent him a care package with an OSU t-shirt, an OSU flag, an OSU coffee mug and a little stuffed OSU football that says "Go Buckeyes" when you catch it.

His flag is now hidden.

His coffee cup is full of paper shreddings, taped shut, and has "Go Blue" written on the duct tape.

The background to his computer is a Michigan emblem.

There is a Michigan emblem very very well attached to his desk and then covered over in layers of clear tape as a laminate of sorts.

I didn't permanently damage any of his stuff because his mom also sent us cookies and he shared them.

Fortunately for me, my desk is manned 24/7. I told my NCO to guard our desk. Unlike the OSU guy, my NCO has actually killed before.

We don't screw around in the Big-10.

Surgery

2009-09-01T03:50:00.000-07:00

I got a blister from the heavier kettlebell I've started using. It was right at the base of my middle finger on my left hand, sort of under my callus there.

So I honed my knife a little more. I cleaned it and washed my hands. The I slowly and carefully sliced into the callus until I reached blister.

It was really very satisfying when the knife pierced the little blister sack and a mix of blood and clear fluid came out. I had paper towels ready to absorb it all. I squeezed and pressed until nothing else came out.

Then I poured hand sanitizer over it. It seeped right into the open wound. That was less satisfying. In fact it actually stung quite a bit.

However, the pressure is relieved and the wound is clean.

I'd like to think my wife is proud.

I also stumbled into an argument between two people over whether Red Vines or Twizzlers came out first. I was curious so I waited to see what the answer was.

Then the trash talk began. If one guy he is right, he owes 100 push ups. If he's wrong, he's owed 100 packs of Red Vine.

Backwards, I know.

Somehow I'm on the hook for 50 push-ups either way. I'm not sure how that happened.

Increasing Productivity

2009-08-31T03:43:00.000-07:00

We are turning the JOC into a garage gym.

I like the think that I inspired it, in part. When I go to the bathroom, I hit the pull-up/dip tower for a few sets. It's on the way. No matter what happens to my morning or evening PT time, I get at least those sets in.

One of the guys saw me doing it and decided it was a good idea. But having to walk outside was inconvenient.

So he is working with our engineers to have pull-up/dip tower put in on the JOC floor. He also found a stash of kettlebells that appeared to be collecting dust. Another guy found some extra gym mat material lying around too.

It's all government property so it is not stealing. We are simply reallocating resources in order to be more efficient with what the tax payers have so graciously given us.

It could of course end in disaster.

Army, Navy, and Air Force guys... public forum... PT... competitive nature... it will be fun to watch.

I, of course, won't be sucked into any immature contests. Not me. Not as one of the token Air Force guys and representative of the Special Tactics community. Nope.

It's a healthy outlet.

And it is not all meatheaded games in the JOC. One of the SEALs is watching a Discovery Channel documentary series about the Earth. He's actually taking extensive notes and making a test on it.

He may actually give us the test.

At first he was being made fun of... but now everyone is watching over his shoulder.

Baby grizzlies are cute. And Snow Leopards are awesome. Apparently that footage from Pakistan was the first time they were ever filmed in the wild.

Watch Out Coach

2009-08-30T10:15:00.000-07:00

Michigan Football is not in the top 25 going in to this season.

Last season their record was worse than it has ever been before.

The season hasn't even started and their are apparently reports that last season's success and this season's expectations were built on a practice and workout regime that exceeded NCAA maximums.

There is a very experienced SEAL here who is even less amused about this than I am.

He points the finger straight at the head coach for changing everything before even trying to figure out what worked. Now the coach has quite possibly killed recruiting for the next few years on top of the current damage done to the program.

I don't know. A lot of players and staff jumped ship before giving Rodriguez a chance.

At least that is our ill-informed understanding of events.

But all is not lost here in Iraq.

One guy has been taking a lot of heat for his silly mustache. In fact, he inspired me to grow a silly mustache.

To strike back at his tormentors he drew a mustache on one of their ID cards. Now the mustachioed vigilante's ID card has been stolen and hidden.

The cycle of violence continues... will we ever learn?

I will say that he was right about the mustache. Even the must mudane social interactions are funnier.

Green is Unbecoming...

2009-08-29T10:11:00.000-07:00

I admit it. I'm jealous of my counterpart in Afghanistan. He'll complain about being stuck working in a Operations Center too.

But he isn't.

Most of the time he's working a desk. But he also gets to go out and play somewhat regularly. His complaints about staff work ring hollow when he is just coming back from a mission.

One of the enlisted guys was teasing me about it, saying that I'm an officer and that I should embrace it.

I told him that he's right, but that my narrow window in my career to gain real field experience is closing. He knows, and said that I'll join the ranks of many other officers who don't really know how things are supposed to be and that my NCOs will quietly clean up any messes I make in my ignorance before anything really bad happens.

He made me feel much better.

I do like the big picture officer stuff. I like being responsible for the training and readiness of my team. I like putting it all together.

But one of my goals as a leader is to be ready, willing, and able to go whereever I may have to send my guys or my team mates. Unfortunately the actual opporunity to physically lead from the front seems to be eluding me.

So it goes.

It's also a funny time here. Some of the new guys aren't so new anymore and so they are hitting the initial wall. Now they are very comfortable with their jobs and are realizing that they will be doing that same thing every day over and over and over and over.... it's no longer new and exciting and so their morale is taking a slight hit.

It's a pretty normal pattern. One guy was comparing the daily routine to prison. There are big fences. Guards. Set work hours and details.

I told him that prisons have indoor plumbing, you can get alcohol (ok, so it was brewed in a toilet-still...), and your family can visit.

Me and the NCO that was boosting my morale, we are flying home on the same bird out of here. So soon, yet so far away. Now that we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, time seems to be stopping some.

Also pretty normal, I think.

Must have just been one of those days for everyone.

Every now and then I guess the repetive nature of things here gets to be a little much. But we have warm food, running (if not necessarily potable) water, hot showers, beds, roofs, and there really aren't that many people trying to kill us at the moment. It's really not that bad.

It's just a bunch of sheepdogs stuck in a cage I guess. And we don't like it. But it's our job and we'll do it to the best of our abilities like any other mission.

My Iraqistache

2009-08-27T11:04:00.000-07:00

One of the guys here has a mustache. He grew it just for this trip. He was smart and did the embarrassing act of growing it while at home and in-transit.

Now he just has to deal with the embarrassing part of, well, having a mustache.

I think since Teddy Roosevelt we've had a shortage of officers who can pull off a mustache.

I am not one of them.

But I'm gonna do it anyway.

Why not? I have no one to impress here and it seems like something fun to do. The guy with the mustache says it will improve my morale. Everytime I look in the mirror I'll laugh. Everytime someone looks at me, they'll laugh (more so).

Win/win.

It also seems like a nifty way to celebrate my last few weeks here.

I announced it in the JOC. I got my wife's blessing. I'm posting it here.

Guess I have to follow through now.

What horse are you?

2009-08-27T03:43:00.000-07:00

One of the guys got a haircut today. This made it apparent to all that there weren't that many hairs to be cut.

In defense of balding warriors everywhere, he felt the need to recite a list of bald characters that no one would mess with.

Bruce Willis is bald. He even played a bald SEAL.

Sean Connery, who may have played a former member of the British Special Boat Service (roughly speaking, a British SEAL) in The Rock, is bald or at least has played balding characters.

Ed Harris, though he played a Marine in that movie, made his list.

And Vin Diesel also played a SEAL in The Pacifier.

It was quickly pointed out that those were all fictional characters. One of the larger Special Forces guys pointed out that our real balding SEAL is too long and lean to be legendary.

The Special Forces guy said that if the SEAL would start lifting more, the SF guy would do more aerobic. They'd meet in the middle.

The SEAL took umbrage. He said he was strong enough to do whatever he needed to do and didn't want to sacrifice endurance.

Eager to be helpful, I egged each guy on.

First the SEAL claimed to be a racehorse. Then he was told he was more of a greyhound.

Somehow I went from being a little Clydesdale to a Shetland Pony.

According to wikipedia, "Shetland ponies have heavy coats, short legs and are considered quite intelligent. They are a very strong breed of pony, used for riding, driving, and pack purposes."

So I guess it's mostly a complement, or at least in keeping with the small Clydesdale metaphor, unless he was calling me hairy.

Other major developments of the day include the revelation that there is only one type of fresh water seal (the aquatic mammal, not the Frogman variety). It apparently lives in a lake in Russia. The largest lake in the world.

It was also decided, while the freshwater seal was being researched on the World Wildlife Federation web page, that Pandas aren't cool. They are helpless when born, even by human standards, have a crappy diet, and won't reproduce to save themselves.

Koalas, however, are cool cause they nature's stoners getting high of eucalyptus while they chill in the trees.

Paperwork

2009-08-26T11:58:00.000-07:00

Today's grand accomplishments involved paperwork.

I resubmitted supply paperwork with the proper signatures. Now it can be passed around, signed by more people, and then hopefully passed to the guy with the purchasing authority.

I foolishly thought I'd have the equipment in hand by now when I was told it would be no problem a few weeks ago. Now I'll be lucky if we have it before I leave.

This led to a bunch of us complaining about the silly supply and budget bureaucracies in the military. You can use this ammo, but not that ammo because that ammo was purchased from a different type of funds. You can buy this more expensive jacket with these funds, but not the cheaper just as effective one because it's part of a different program that needs different funds.

It's a dark art.

I'm still waiting for the paperwork to get bounced back to me again because something isn't right. Which would be mildly amusing because I've had two different supply guys look over my shoulder while I filled it out, and the guy who would be bouncing it back this time is one of those two.

I also re-learned that valuable lesson of always going to the man who is actually in charge and not the man formally in charge. In most military organizations, that is the operations senior NCO. He will tell you who to go to and tell the boss if it is something that must be done.

One of my projects got stalled waiting in the operations officer's inbox. I forwarded it to the NCO.

Then magic happpened.

I am pretty confident that the NCOs get more crap dumped on them and more junk filling their inboxes than the officers they shelter. But they seem to get through it all a lot faster.

Generally speaking, any positive adjective used to describe an officer is really a description of the NCOs working damn hard to make that officer look good.

Not that there aren't some true winners in the NCO corps. Just like there are some complete morons earning officer pay... the jury still being out on this one.

But as a whole, if an officer can provide the necessary top cover, command direction, and then get out of the way... the NCOs will get the job done, and do it well.

Which I guess brings me back around to the supply NCOs I've been working with. Most of my problems are probably the result of not being as smart as I should be on their voodoo. Yes, a weatherman just called someone else's job voodoo. They definitely know their stuff, manage multiple systems, and none of them have been arrested to the best of my knowledge.

Still, I want my stuff.

And in my world, an easy purchase involved going to a store or website, throwing something in my cart, and checking out. It doesn't involve a staffing sheet that needs the commanders of multiple sections to sign it. It doesn't involve writing a justification memo for yet another person to sign. And it definitely doesn't involve doing that all twice.

And so I complained about supply.

But all is forgiven because they manange to maintain an endless supply of cookies 'n cream.

Homestretch

2009-08-25T12:04:00.000-07:00

I realized that we're entering the homestretch here. The shift is subtle as we start making contact with our replacements, we start getting their arrival dates, and our discussions are more about transition planning than our own current work.

I know my replacement. It'll be an pretty easy hand-off since he's been here before.

I always talk about how small this community is but every now and then I still get surprised. The titles seem to change but the names really don't.

Right now on one of my projects I am coordinating with two people back home. One of them I worked with pretty often in his last job and even went to a training course with him. The other guy I've also worked with before pretty extensively in his last job and am now doing some planning work for him again.

It's a mixed blessing, but I think I've got a good working relationship with both of them. If not, it's real easy to ruin your reputation because everyone knows everyone. One stupid mistake and it will unfortunately follow you forever.

Deadly serious adult games governed by middle school playground politics.

Lest you think I'm joking, last night in the JOC one of the Air Force ground warfare guys hid an Air Force pilot's stash of Diet Pepsis. The pilot, a fighter guy who has mostly worked air to air combat in the past, does not have a lot of experience working with us ground guys. He dared the Air Force NCO to throw out the hidden Pepsis.

He actually double dog dared him.

Really. Those exact words.

So the NCO threw out the Pepsis. I'd have done the same thing.

The only reason I found out about it was that the pilot was impressed and wanted to buy the NCO a beer. But we are in Iraq and while we are trusted to limitless ammunition we are not trusted with even limited amounts of alcohol.

So the pilot, showing the resourcefulness and outside-the-box thinking we demand of our leaders, burried the NCO's desk in cans of near-beer.

Most of us on the day shift had no idea why there were so many Coors Cutters on this particular NCO's desk. The cryptic note left by the pilot was our only assurance that the NCO wasn't planning on drinking 30 near beers in the hope that he'd get buzzed by the cumulative effect of the .03% alcohol content.

I have no doubt some Private has almost blown out his bladder trying that.

Also, on the way back from dinner an experienced Army Special Forces Senior NCO and a Navy SEAL officer essentially reenacted the scene from Forty Year Old Virgin where two of the characters went on riff explaining how the knew the other, um, preferred the company of men.

Sleep well knowing that we are safeguarding your freedom.

I have a problem

2009-08-24T11:22:00.000-07:00

I can't put a good book down. Or even a mediocre book with an interesting story.

Last night I figured I'd read a quick chapter of The Shadow of the Wind, the book my cousins sent me, after work before I went running. 250 pages later I finished the book, but it was a bit late to run.

Back home I read a lot of non-fiction, news, and history. Over here I tend to blow through more fiction.

I guess I like really good historical fiction. Sometimes it does a better job of capturing an era than anything else. Unfortunately, I'm not as well read into the horrors of the Spanish Civil War and Franco's Spain as maybe I should be. So this book was an intriguing story but I can't vouch for its historical accuracy.

I heard that my cousin looked beautiful at her wedding and that it was a great time for all.

They had cocktail weinies. That's how you know it's a real party.

I had a great time at my wedding, the food was incredible, but I am still a little bitter that we didn't have cocktail weinies.

There, I said it.

I'm not sure whether to be proud or depressed that some staff paperwork I predicted would get bounced back did, in fact, get bounced back to me.

Our awards packages have been resubmitted. One day I hope to be the guy I described in my award package. He sounds like a beast.

I hate writing my own award.

After a while words like lead, developed, exceptional, unparalleled, groundbreaking, streamline, spearhead, irreplaceable, and the like tend to lose their meaning. But if this thing goes through, which it looks like it will, then I will be officially awarded for applying the currently fashionable power terms to other actions, events, and impacts in the proper manner.

That, my friends, is how wars are won.

Even though he specifically told me to, I still don't like that I submitted my NCO for a lower award than what I submitted for myself.

In the original package I sent up for both of us, I even used the same citation as a template because my summary of our jobs is that overnight he cleans up every mess that I make during the day.

He wants it this way, everyone here is cool with it, so there it is.

Round and Round

2009-08-23T05:18:00.001-07:00

It's been an interesting few days. One of my projects suddenly gained momentum and and may be ready to execute early this week. Another one is gaining steam.

I am getting more involved in the planning processes here which will both spread the load and be a great learning experience for me. My technical specialty may be environmental impacts, but I'm enjoying the broadening opportunity. As I progress forward I can either pigeon-hole myself or become more of general expert on operations.

I also was told that they pulled our awards packages so that they could be resubmitted for the higher level award per my request. I was told I need to re-write the packages to make them stronger. It shouldn't be too hard because when I first wrote them we had pretty much just gotten here and hadn't accomplished much. I chose to write fluff rather than make stuff up and risk being awarded a medal we deserved but with a citation full of things that didn't happen.

I'm really not that big into awards. It's not like you get a free toaster and are submitted into a raffle for a cruise upon getting your fifth Joint Commendation medal. But I wanted my NCO to get an award commensurate with his work...

...and this morning, after fighting to have the packages pulled, he told me he actually preferred the lower level award. The award itself isn't that big of a deal. He doesn't need the promotion points. He's never gotten the Joint Achievement medal and figures that a longer list of medals and one more ribbon on the ribbon rack will look better on the wall when he retires shortly.

Now comes the question of what to do about my award package. I dont' like the idea of submitting myself for a higher level award than my NCO. But I do think I've earned the higher level award, especially when compared to other guys who've gotten it.

I'm also reluctant to set a precedent because then the next guy's award will default to the lower award and he'll have to work harder to justify the commendation medal.

We'll see. I'll check with some people I trust here for guidance.

I touched base with my replacement. This means that my replacement exists and is coming. This is a very positive development.

Fittingly, for whatever reason, chow hall chatter yesterday was about burn out and missing family events.

We were counting missed birthdays, missed anniversaries, missed holidays, and other missed events.

This trip, on top of the missed birthdays, missed anniversary (I've only been home for one and we were moving between assignments at the time), and missed holidays, I seem to be missing weddings.

In a few hours, my cousin will be getting married. I got to chat with her briefly on-line a few days ago and found out that the family craziness was pretty much as expected.

She is the first girl cousin on this side of the family to get married. She is the only person in the family to have asked my advice about joining the Marines... she didn't, but I could actually have pictured her--the Natural Resources and Environment Student--doing it.

They have a great Civil Affairs program. I have no doubt she do an incredible job teaching some Pashtun farmer about more efficient use of the Helmand River's limited resources. But then she'd probably shoot him for not letting his girls go to school and beating his wife. This would probably undermine her plans to revitalize the region, or it would gain grudging compliance.

And the reliance on millions of plastic water bottles here would drive her nuts.

So maybe it's better that she didn't join. And the uniform in XS-Short would be too big.

Besides, her efforts and expertise are needed just as badly here, in Israel, and anywhere else they choose to go.

Unfortunately, I haven't yet had the pleasure of meeting her soon to be husband. I hear that he is an engineer. An unreformed and unrepentant engineer who hasn't run away from it at a full sprint like I did. I guess we need people like that. Otherwise budding patent attorneys would have no one to leech off of and exploit. Or assist.

He was apparently also smart enough to do his time in the Navy and then get out. That's not an inter-service joke. I have lots of Navy jokes. I can't share most of them here. I find that a military career can sometimes be like an abusive relationship between the service and the service member. It can take real strength and courage to say I've served and I'm done.

I do have a friend who went to BUD/S (SEAL training) because hours of surf torture in 55 degree Pacific waters and sleepless trips around the world in a small boat were preferable to another night as the watch officer in the Surface Navy. Rumor has that there is a SEAL there and probably some other current/former Navy guys, so hopefully someone gets the reference and can explain it.

My friend's experience did give me a whole new respect and appreciation for my Navy peers out on ships, not boats, ships. I don't want to be the guy that has to tell the skipper that due to rough seas, we were able to refuel but we were unable to replenish our dwindling ice cream stocks.

I'd make a nuke joke, but all I know about subs I learned from movies. Actual nuke guys are quiet, a little weird, and glow in the dark. And apparently they speak Russian with a Scottish accent.

So maybe I can't help myself. I'm a small and petty person with the geekiest job in all of SOF ops.

I wish I could be there, as hollow as that may sound given that technically I volunteered for this rotation. I miss everyone and wish them the best.

To my cousin and her new husband, I know that you are both smart enough to realize that the wedding is just one silly and crazy day.

You are probably getting more than enough useless advice based on people projecting their relationship dynamics on to yours.

Do take the time to eat something. The food is very expensive and probably very good. My wife is still mad at me for eating when I should have been socializing, but she missed out.

The Great American Hero

2009-08-21T03:38:00.000-07:00

I saw someone special in the chow hall today.

It was a civilian, though he may have been prior military. I'm still not sure whether to be in awe of him, jealous of him, or even disgusted.

On his plate, one of the three-sectioned plastic picnic plates, were buttered noodles, rice (which here is over-salted and probably over-buttered), and fries covered in cheese/cheez (I think this delicacy is with a "z").

Lest you worry, he also had a bowl of salad. In that bowl were a lot of olives, cheddar cheese, and some crispy chow mein noodles.

I didn't stay to check on his desert.

I have to assume that this is a unique meal, even for this guy. Either that or he is training for an Ironman Triathlon. He was fat, but not the fattest.

Of course, a few more meals like that and he could quickly make up the frightening couple hundred pounds he needs to be the fattest civilian on Balad.

I know that some people have no access to healthy foods do the a lack of supermarkets in their area and the cheapness of unhealthy alternatives. Exercise takes time and some people are too busy working multiple sedentary jobs, fueled on Value Meals, to make time for it. Many aren't taught better.

Fine.

This dude likely knows better. At the very least, he's bombarded by AFN commercials telling him how to live a healthier life.

He has gym access.

I really hope it was some kind of one-time thing and not his regular meal.

The alternative just makes me mad.

I'm off now to pick up my laundry, verify that my forecast of hot weather is true, and then maybe play on a mini-bike or ATV because I can.

It's, um, sustainment training.

So close...

2009-08-20T10:30:00.000-07:00

We hit 119F (48C) today. I've been waiting for 120. Everyone tells me about 120. Oh, Iraq is so hot it hits 130 in the shade...

No. It doesn't.

119 is plenty hot. Don't get me wrong. But I want 120. It's an admittedly arbitrary threshold, but it's a threshold all the same. I just want to say that we hit it.

It's like fast-roping from a CV-22 (a tilt-rotor aircraft, takes off and can hover like a helicopter, flies like an airplane). I just want to do it once. I know it will be uncomfortable and scary because the rotor wash pushes the rope to an odd angle. But I still want to experience it.

Once.

Aside from failing to hit 120 yet again, the day was a mixed bag. Some days it feels like a bad treasure hunt where every clue on a certain project just leads to another clue.

Who is the right person to ask? Never the person I'm asking, and probably not the person that they then direct me to, but maybe the next troop I get referred to... or maybe not. One search actually brought me full circle.

Though when completely that particular personnel loop, I was able to give the confused person at the beginning/end of the search a phone number for someone that he is now supposed to call.

Tag. He's it.

One of my other projects is having better luck. Someone emailed me not only the information I needed, but they sent it as part of an entire filled out packet that I thought I'd have to remake myself. Sweet.

I refuse to be frustrated. There are lots of ways to still have fun here.

I'm not on the list next time we have dedicated range time to qualify on the Mk-19, a machine gun that fires grenades.

I now have access to mini-dirt bikes that I can cruise around on if I so choose. And some ATVs.

Why not?

May as well make the most of it.

Out of Touch

2009-08-19T11:41:00.000-07:00

I was able to check in with one of my officers at my home unit today. It was a good opportunity to see how everyone is doing in general, what's new in our planning cycle, etc.

Between being deployed and being in a Guard unit with everyone dispersed around the world, it is surprisingly difficult to stay on top of everything. Deployment plans change. People who were talking about volunteering for a trip a few months ago have changed their minds. People get married. People, sadly, get divorced. People get new jobs or have trouble at work.

Plus, they have their military duties. Technically, that's the only part in which we have an official role to play. But between the fact that the unit is a family of sorts and the fact that everything can and does impact a troop's readiness, we find ourselves as leaders being guidance counselors, educational advisors, financial planners, and anything else in addition to our official roles.

It's an odd dynamic. You are never really off duty.

I think it's worth it. My unit has a proud legacy and it is a really great feeling when one of the guys we worked to train truly excels downrange. And, without fail, my guys have done great work.

Unfortunately, I've been relegated to staff purgatory on this trip, though most of my team, or at least the team I'm augmenting, is out kicking butt.

I am smarter in the ways of staff work and pushing paper. It's not fun, but like budgeting and logistics planning, is key to getting the mission accomplished.

I'm pretty convinced that the higher pay for officers is like the higher pay some data entry positions earn. After all of our fun running and gunning training, officers--even in SOF--end up doing mostly staff work and admin stuff as once they become mid-ranking Captains (or the Lieutenants for the Navy). I guess the pay is supposed to compensate for that.

Sure, there is the whole command responsibility thing too.

High Culture

2009-08-18T10:17:00.000-07:00

Being able to read a foreign language has enabled me to learn that the death of Michael Jackson was front page news in Israel.

I got an amazing package in the mail yesterday from a bunch of my cousins. It was truly incredible in the way that every part represented a lot of thought and effort in to what I would enjoy and it was also very clear who gave each piece.

There were newspapers, some high-brow readings, excellent candies, cookies, and a CD documenting a family event (one of way too many this trip) that I missed.

It is rare that anything beats out cookies, especially cookies that involve white chocolate chips, but the CD was really special.

Don't get me wrong, a non-pop novel, issues of Foreign Affairs, Harper's Weekly, and an Economist are very much appreciated. Very very much. I guess I'm old fashioned but nothing beats actual pages in the hand.

But between all the of the major events in the lives of my friends and family that I've missed these past few months, and will be missing over the next few, the CD helped fill a little void.

Thank you.

Back in the war, we've entered a particularly slow period in the season for me. It's not quite the rainy season, but the dust season is coming to an end. It does give me time for other pursuits.

My biggest project right now is at a phase where I am trying to avoid reinventing the wheel. I know parts of it have all been done before, but the institutional knowledge has been lost. It's like a treasure hunt right now.

Otherwise, it's the usual routine. Nothing too exciting to share.

Keeping the Faith

2009-08-14T04:18:00.000-07:00

Over the past few years I've begun wondering if this creaping disillusionment was what members of the Roman Legions felt as their complacent people and utterly out of touch leadership watched their world crumble.

I don't really subscribe to the whole sky is falling, American is collapsing, alarmism that is out there. I think they overestimate the strenghts of other countries, underestimate their weaknesses, and overplay our own issues because of an intimate familiarity with them.

I'm sure I suffer from all of those issues too.

Be that as it may, I've still been incredibly disappointed in our leaders, our media, and us as a nation because we get the government we deserve in a democracy and we get the media we deserve as consumers.

In short, it's been very easy for me to conclude that we have chosen to be fat, dumb, and lazy as a society. In both the intellectual and physical sense.

Even college jeopardy is being dumbed down these days.

So my lunch with one of our interpreters came at a perfect time.

He told us all about growing up here. When he was a young teenager he would negotiate deals on random goods like soccer balls and then re-sell them in the street. He actually made a good amount of money doing it, but spent it all on movie tickets or gave it away to friends.

He distinctly remembers going to see some Jackie Chan movie eight times in Baghdad near the end of the Iran-Iraq War.

At 18, after Desert Storm, he and some friends stole a few rifles from Ba'ath Party offices in the Southern part of the country and joined the Shia Revolt. He did not wear any kind of mask and so Saddam's forces were able to identify him. His mother, fearing for his life, forced him to flee the country.

He spent a few years stuck in various refugee camps before being one of the lucky few allowed to to go to the US. He told the interviewer that he didn't want to go to Texas because he was afraid of Cowboys.

All he knew of the US was what he'd been told and what he'd seen in movies. Even so, he knew that his best future would be in America.

He described New York City as another planet after growing up mostly in rural Iraq. Not knowing the language or what any of the traffic signs meant, he almost got hit by more than a few cabs and buses.

But he's not a shy individual. He listened. He would ask any passer-by what a work meant or for directions. And people helped him.

One time in DC, he was asking someone for directions and got into a friendly conversation with some guy. The guy asked him where he was from. The interpreter told him he was from Iraq. So the guy asked what he was doing in DC.

The interpreter said, "I'm a terrorist."

The guy said, "No, no you're not."

The interpeter said "No, no. Really. I'm a terrorist."

The guy explained the difference between tourist and terrorist. This was in the late 90's when people could still admit to having a sense of humor about such things.

The interpreter agreed that he was, in fact, a tourist.

Incidentally, despite his fears of being caught up in the Indian Wars raging in Texas, the interpreter did end up witness a drug dealer getting murdered while in DC. Yeah. He said that he'd seen war, he'd fought the Iraqi Army, be he'd never seen something like that before. Not a good story, not something we are proud of in our nation's capital... but I love the irony and had to include it.

When the we invaded Iraq this time around, the interpreter was eager to help. He loathed Saddam with a passion. He has spent a few years, on and off, working with SOF as an interpreter. He's been wounded and he's come back.

This interpreter, an immigrant and new citizen, has done more to serve our country than most Americans can possibly realize.

Most importantly, it was incredible to see the opportunity that America can represent through his eyes.

Where else can an Iraqi refugee meet and marry a Guatemalan wife and from nothing earn a middle-class living for their new family?

As we walked back to the JOC, the SEAL I was eating with and I were pretty much speechless.

We had nothing. We've led easy and sheltered lives.

------------

Back at the JOC, I'm excited by the progress in my various projects. The only downside is that I think I'll leave everything primed for when my replacements get here. Then they'll get to do the fun final steps of implementation.

I'm also looking into getting certified to operate a fork lift. Why not?

I've Lost My Mojo

2009-08-13T11:54:00.000-07:00

I need to get my mojo back.

I was somewhat aware of the passage of time until I ran in to one of the troops responsible for planning our return trip. She told me a number. A number that was slowly getting smaller. A number that I refused to think about.

The days we have left.

Now it's out there, hovering over my work. Daily annoyances are a little less annoying yet that trivialness makes them that much more frustrating at the same time.

An excellent example would be our near-futile quest to get a program un-installed and re-installed on our computer. For some reason, after many years, this program stopped working. It's not vital, but it is very helpful.

I call our computer people since they control what goes on the network. They tell me that the program is not approved.

I ask to talk to the guy in charge. He's not in. When does he get in... they tell me and promise he'll call in the evening. This is after my night guy was told he didn't get in until the morning.

So I call back in the evening. Oh, he's at dinner. He's the only guy authorized to determine that a program that has been on the network for years, that is on pretty much every weather guy's computer here, that was developed by and for the Air Force, is not authorized.

It's brilliant really. I'm not going to yell at his underlings. It's not their fault.

I can't yell at him. He is apparently a ghost.

I can create a paper trail and find his boss, but that is so unsatisfying and impersonal.

I want to yell at him. I'm very nice to be people who do their jobs. I'm even nice to people who are clearly making an effort here.

This will be fixed by the end of my shift tomorrow.

So I'm looking to my little projects, outside of my little vendettas, to re-motivate me. Some have made small but good progress. Others are stalled. Sadly none will really be done by the time I leave, but at least they will be primed for my replacement.

I'm also breaking in my new running shoes. That's always fun. A short 2 miles this evening because my legs were still sore from my first night back at one-legged squats. I'll probably be back into a really good routine just in time to leave.

This time I need to really bring it home with me. I have all the tools I need at the house.

Party Plans

2009-08-12T10:35:00.000-07:00

One of my friends is getting ready to leave. We are trying to figure out the best way to celebrate.

Over dinner, it hit us....

Near-Beer Float.

One can of Coors Cutter (or the better German fake beer) plus one scoop of vanilla ice cream.

It was a flash of brilliance. I can't wait to try it.

Expect a full report.

On a not completely unrelated to work, I must share my disappointment in the criticism of the nutjob in New Hampshire that showed up outside the President's town hall meeting with a gun and a sign paraphrasing Jefferson.

Everyone has jumped on the complete lack of sense involved showing up at a Presidential appearance armed and apparently threatening violence.

Sadly, no one seems to be critiquing the ridiculous set up he was rocking. A thigh holster has it's place. The idea is generally to lower the holster below the belt line when wearing armor so that the armor does not interfere with the drawing motion. The idea is to have the pistol has high as possible while still allowing for a smooth draw.

This idiot had his pistol mounted somewhere near his knee. That would be a horrible inefficient drawing motion. It also wastes extra energy while walking around with the weight mounted lower on the leg.

It was not only a poorly conceived demonstration, but it was also poorly executed.

Oh well. At least he can keep the healthcare he has until the government gets its grubby hands on his Medicare. Or something.

I guess the good news is that no matter how badly I botch a forecast, I can simply watch the news from home and feel smart again.

Stay Classy, America.

Car Chase

2009-08-11T12:19:00.000-07:00

Maybe work has made us a little warped.

I think we just a bunch of dudes watching TV.

There was yet another California car chase on the news. In the middle of everything else going on, we all stopped to watch.

We cheered on the cops. We critiqued their performance. We laughed when the guy pulled out of his car, which was not in park, and as the car slowly rolled back into an empty cop car...

It was particularly funny to me because I forgot to put our vehicle in park during a training exercise a while back. We were doing a react to contact drill. To simulate our vehicle being disabled by an IED there was a loud boom created by an instructor and then I, as the drive, was supposed to stop and put the vehicle in park.

Well, I swerved as I stopped to create better cover for our retreat from the vehicle. We dismounted, returned fire, and... the car kept rolling.

Fortunately it rolled into another vehicle, which stoppped it. Just like the criminal's vehicle rolling pretty harmlessly into a nearby cop car.

It ended better for me than the criminal on the news. He got arrested. I just owed a round of beer that night.

With the chase over, we went back to work.

My other great accomplishment for the day was filling out my application for the New GI Bill. After reviewing everything, I think I'm eligible for at least 60% of the full time benefit, but maybe up to 100% depending on how they count my first years of active duty service.

It they count those years as pay back for my ROTC scholarship, then I should still get the 60% for my various Active Duty periods as a Guardsman. If they simply count that time as cumulative Active Duty time, then I should get 60%.

Either way, it's a great deal and a major jump up in my VA benefits for school.

Thank you Senator Webb.

New Shoes!!!

2009-08-10T11:17:00.000-07:00

Today my new running shoes came in the mail. They are everything I hoped for. Very light, but supportive where they need to be and fit with a Superfeet insert.

They'll need a little breaking in and then it will be like running in slippers. My preference in a running shoe is for it to be firm. I don't want to run on pillows. These trail runners are right in the sweet spot where I can feel the road but excess shock is absorbed.

Unfortunately there is a lot of shiny neon yellow on the shoe. Soon it will be brown. Everything here turns brown.

Other people were excited when I got my shoes too. Shoes and boots are a major topic of discussion.

My sister also made a variety of cookies and sent them to us. We love cookies. We really love peanut butter cookies.

We may take some of the peanut butter cookies to the chow hall, zap them, and top them with vanilla ice cream.

I really do mean "we" in the plural too.

The other news is that my beautiful and brilliant world-saving wife is now back in the US. Now I can more easily bother her while she is at work via G-mail chat.

This is an outstanding development.

She won't really get a chance to unwind and re-adjust because she has two weddings to attend in the next two weeks. Those will be the second and third weddings I've missed on this trip.

Not cool. I am really sorry and do wish I could be there.

I can also call the nearest base and have them connect me to her phone. Oddly, due to her cell phone number not being a local call from our house, I have to call the base nearest where she grew up to have them connect us.

On the work front, well, processes are evolving for the better. It's actually fun to be a part of it. It reminds us that the enemy is actually a very bad human and not, say, Microsoft Office 2007.

We get confused sometimes.

Oh, and if any of you read GEN McPeak's Op-Ed about the F-22 in the Wall Street Journal, I apologize. He was one of the leaders of the great Fighter Mafia, the man who decided chest hair needed to be visible in our blues uniforms, and brought the world Total Quality Management (only Scott Adams benefited from this because it fueled an infinite number of Dilbert strips).

F-22's are really cool. Really really really cool. They have incredible capabilities and can truly dominate the air war. But once we've used our stealth assets to destroy the enemy air defenses, or degrade them sufficiently, in the beginning of a conventional war... why can't we then use lots of cheaper and less stealthy aircraft for many of the lower-threat follow on missions?

We have only one Ranger Regiment that in part exists to kick in the door so the rest of the force can come in behind. No one in the Army is arguing that every unit needs to be the Ranger Regiment.

It's an imperfect metaphor, but close enough to make the point.

Enough

2009-08-09T12:55:00.000-07:00

One of the civilians I've met is a retired Special Forces Medic. He served over thirty years in uniform and continues to serve today.

He is a very soft-spoken guy, but can be very talkative. He'll stop by my desk and we'll chat about running shoes, random war stories, getting old, dirt medicine tips, etc.

He's going home. One of his family member's is sick. He called the company he works for and told them he has to quit the contract early. For so many years, he put the mission and country ahead of everything.

It is his family's turn.

Fortunately, many of the people he works for are retired military guys who know exactly how he feels. They are willing to hold his space for a few months in case he can come back later.

I also found out that The Spin Doctors are playing Balad. Well, not the Spin Doctors, but their lead singer and his new band.

I was never a Spin Doctors fan in the early 90's. But it's free, I've never been to a USO show, and there's something novel about seeing some band that was big when I was in middle school.

It was fun. They played in the movie theater. It had a small club feeling similar to some of the shows one of my friends took me to back home.

The band gave out CDs and signed autographs for anyone who wanted one after the show. We got our picture taken with the band cause why not?

It was great of them to come out here. Even though most of the audience was barely walking when the band, or at least the lead singer, first hit it big, every one was appreciative and got in to it.

And yes, when I did the math and realized that most of the audience was still in diapers when the Spin Doctors hit MTV (back when MTV played music, I know, wow), I felt old.

The Size of the Fight in the Dog

2009-08-08T10:47:00.000-07:00

So she may be small. She may only weight 110 lbs. But when she rolls over and all of her weight is on the knee that pinches your tricep against the ground... it hurts.

Now the marks on my left arm match my right.

For the final evaluation in the Level I Comabtives course, each of us played grappling dummy for the other students. We all passed.

We also found out that two of us had been practicing one of the escape from a choke drills wrong. Good to know.

Part of the final eval was demonstrating a clinch--charging into someone who is punching you, closing the distance, and essentially putting them into a bear hug of sorts. The instructor had on boxing gloves and we wore head gear.

One of the goals of the drill is make sure everyone knows what it is to be punched in the head. I've been punched in head a few times. I didn't like it. But it's a necessary evil for the drill.

In real life, your opponent won't help you lock him up and beat him either. In real life, you'll probably have to take a few hits. But if you are agressive and don't fear getting a hit a couple times then you will get the clinch in faster and take fewer hits. If you are not agressive then you keep getting hit.

Getting hit is bad. It hurts.

Of course, my head doesn't hurt, but I did tweak my kneck in the first round of clinch drills. Technically, I didn't do it. The instructor did by whacking the side of my head. Or maybe it was forcing my head into his hip to push him off balance. I dunno.

I do know that many Motrins later, I have partial mobility again.

I'm going to go to bed early tonight. My partner even came in a little early so I could get out and get to bed sooner. That was really nice of him.

The class was great, but didn't mesh too well with my usual sleep cycle. I had to hit the chow hall for coffee, which led to the discovery that our chow hall now has iced coffee. It's way too syrupy, but does the job.

Two of my projects are making slow progress. It's annoying because a lot of the moving pieces are out of my control so it takes much longer than I would like.

I know it is better to do it right the first time. I know that people rushing it is why some of these things have been stalled and gotten nowhere in the past.

Still, it's frustrating.

At least the other guys here all have similar attitudes. We can complain about annoying staff stuff. And we can work on making it better.

It's nice to be around people who always want to make it work better.

Living Vicariously

2009-08-07T05:53:00.000-07:00

I've been reading some reports from the rest of my team in Afghanistan and am incredibly proud to be associated with those guys.

The troops out with teams are really doing some incredible things and demonstrating what it means to be a technically competent weather guy and a tactictally proficient SOF troop.

These guys are not only collecting environmental data and sending it up, but are being trusted to lead patrol elements and clear areas. It is the way it should be, but the way it always has been.

Sweet.

It's great cause my job, in general, is to make sure they are ready and have what they need to do it. A little sad cause I don't I'm stuck in the JOC while they do it.

So it goes.

That said, my hare-brained scheme is working. Manufacturers are responding to my requests for test and evaluation samples of their equipment for some members of my unit back home.

We may have a new radio pack and new field uniforms to test during the next pre-deployment train-up. One of my guys will be hitting a variety of exercises and I may tag along on one or two.

We will take pictures and document the performance of the equipment in the field. My plan is for us to compare it to similar but more expensive equipment in use by some of the Active Duty units.

If it is truly up to par, then we'll be recommending it to everyone. If it is close, then due to budget constraints, we may just buy it for our unit as a stop-gap for now. Unfortunately, it may mean spending more in the long run to replace it, but we'll see.

However, my prediction is that the equipment will be equal in quality but just different in some subjective features.

While the companies are hoping this turns into a large sale, they are both very eager to suppor the end users in the military community.

The reps I've dealt with are fomer military members themselves. They want sales, but they also want feedback so this can be win-win.

Defenseless

2009-08-06T10:24:00.000-07:00

The AF needs to think about second and third order effects before releasing PR footage. Little news stories that are supposed to inform the public and our fellow servicemembers about Airmen can actually make our life much worse.

I guess the AF was doing some type of silly PR stunt having a bunch of Airmen play with guns. I'm all for Airmen using guns and being very familiar and competent with weapons.

But the conventional Air Force has bred an attitude amongs most Airmen where the reaction to seeing a gun is "OH MY GOD! A GUN!"

And the reaction to the idea of using that gun in combat is that it is some one else's job... despite the large number of Airmen securing bases and running convoys in-lieu of Army personnel.

So I guess the Air Force, trying to show how hardcore it can be, had some Airmen hit a range at Balad. They record it. They make a little story about it for the Pentagon Channel. It airs on AFN. We see it in the JOC.

Oh. No.

Everyone looks at me to explain what the Air Force is trying to show and what training is being accomplished in this piece.

I have no idea.

Why are they firing a sniper rifle on a 25M range?

I have no idea.

I just shook my head and said I had nothing.

But today was a good day. I got to work and found an email waiting for me that said one of the manufacturers I'd contacted about equipment tests is going to put in me in touch with their National Guard sales rep so that we can work it. Awesome.

Tonight we are doing our review ahead of the Level I Combatives Assessment. This means that we will do all the drills over and over, talking each other through each step, so that the test is easy.

We'll finish with either a round-robin series of 2 minute grapple-for-position/submission or each of going up against the instructor. The instructor is feeling a little beat up so I wouldn't be surprised if he supervises the students fighting tonight.

The fights are a great test of endurance and force you to remember the drills. It is a lot like chess as you anticipate where your opponent will be moving various pieces and try to set him up... but you don't want to sacrifice any pawns in the process. It hurts.

Our Secret Weapon

2009-08-05T10:40:00.000-07:00

I know now why we are destined to win this long struggle against totalitarian militant murderous pedophiles and misogynists that hide behind Islam.

It is not because we are better people than the bad guys, though we are. Really. "Bad guys" isn't just a generic term for the enemy. They are really very bad people.

It's not because of superior resources. Though we have access to resources and logistics that are almost beyond the imagination.

It's not because of tenacity or staying power (see Rep. Obey's comments about deadlines for OEF).

It is because we are masters of Powerpoint.

Embedded animations.

Linked documents.

Gen Pershing had to resort to crude efforts like dipping bullets in pork fat and burrying terrorists with pigs because Powerpoint didn't exist yet.

Us? We have the newest versions.

We can't lose.

Well, we do have one fatal flaw. Apparently we are all drunk drivers that are addicted to chewing tobacco that ride motorcycles without proper protective gear and keep forgetting to volunteer for the service bands.

But courtesy of AFN commercials, we are reminded constantly and so we will be saved.

Every time the commercials come on, a buddy of mine complains that AFN is telling him how to live his life.

I told him that if he would start freaking listening for once, maybe they'd stop nagging him.

Maybe I didn't say "freaking."

It was actually very funny at the time, but you probably had to be there, and had to have been here day after day after day after day after day....

That happened at lunch. When we got back my buddy found his slides had been tampered with. All the mission names had been switched to various references to G.I. Jane.

The great SEAL vs Green Beret movie war continues.

Odd

2009-08-04T10:41:00.000-07:00

Periodically we get care packages from various organizations back home. It is a very nice effort and we do appreciate it.

But sometimes we are a little surprised by what's in the box.

The usual random snacks and books are great. The cans of refried beans we got recently were a little questionable. I was also confused by a bag of sample toiletries. Travel size shampoos and stuff are a great addition but someone actually took the time to not only collect these samples from various hotels, but to put them in a sealed plastic bag.

Also, I think some of the shampoos were already open.

There was a toothbrush too. It was not in any packaging. We don't know if it was used but I think most people here will assume it was just to be safe.

I also discovered a novel invention.

On my main rig I have my primary first aid kit with all my major trauma tools and a spare tournequet (the main one being attached to my vest via rubber bands so I or my buddy can access it immediately). On my belt kit I have a little ouchie kit with some band aids, etc. Some how, without noticing it, I acquired some knuckle band aids when I went digging through that pouch today.

That's right. They make band-aids specifically for knuckles.

Genius.

It won't necessarily help my skinned knuckles heal this week, but it will keep them from bleeding on the punching pads during the last few combatives class sessions.

I also taught myself how to repair an ACU zipper since one the zipper pulls got pulled right off my sparring uniform. Good as new now.

Fearless Men, Who Jump and Die

2009-08-03T10:43:00.000-07:00

Today we had a memorial ceremony of one of our brothers who died in Afghanistan.

The chaplain said a few words and then the command element spoke as we all stood in formation to remember CW2 Douglas Vose.

He was a leader of warriors, a devoted husband, and father of four.

At the close of the ceremony, SSGT Barry Sadler's "Ballad of the Green Berets" was played. The song is from a different time, a time that may not have actually existed and, if it did, it was ending even as the song was released, when certain values of selfless service and patriotism were respected rather than cynically mocked, exploited, and rarely thought to be genuine.

It was first sung by a man who burried too many of his friends during Vietnam, and every verse rings true today, none more so than this one:

Back at home a young wife waits
Her Green Beret has met his fate
He has died for those oppressed...

Afterwards the flag, from half staff was raised to the top of the pole and then lowered. Bagpipes played "Amazing Grace" as the flag was folded and placed over the empty boots that stood by the fallen soldier's picture.

On TV it is cliche.

In real life it never is.

I have not stood in many of these ceremonies. But I have stood in enough and I will probaby stand in more.

Tonight we also marked the anniversary of the death of another fallen comrade. Three years ago today AO2 Marc Lee, a SEAL, fell to enemy fire during a mission in Ramadi.

There are no words to describe the quality of these men, the sacrifices they and their families made, or any grand pithy statement to sum it up.

Just remember them.

Remember that they volunteered to serve. Volunteered for the most rigorous training. Volunteered to be Special Operators.

Remember them. Remember their families.

Be proud that we can still produce people like them.

Combatives, Night Two

2009-08-02T14:25:00.000-07:00

So second night of my combatives class is done.

One knuckle bleeding, though I'm missing skin from all of them. I should have brought my Krav Maga wraps with me.

I think I'll have my partner start working over my left arm because my right arm is mostly bruises and finger marks from the elbow up.

Kneck stretches beforehand are key. Glad I did them tonight.

Coaching someone into putting you in a weird naked choke is an odd sensation. As I told my partner, this is the last time I'm going to help him choke me because he needs to feel confident in being able to apply such a choke to someone.

Next time, game on.

I also need to drink more water, maybe some Gatorade or some fruit, if I'm going to run after work but before this class. Two-minute grapple-for-dominance drills are a terrible time for your leg to start cramping up.

I often joke about certain injuries by saying that's why God gave you two of them (knees, eyes, liver?). Some things come in two and are quite vulnerable when bodies and knees are rolling all over the floor.

But fight through it. Walk it off after you win the fight. You might not be walking anywhere if you lose.

Even so, it's a lot of fun. Great training and great PT. It emphasizes being a balanced athlete. Too much lifting and you get smoked early, technique will overcome brute strength.

But I'm also glad the course is only a week long. If they can continue the sessions, I'll try to hit it at least once a week to sustain and improve these skills. Unfortunatley the instructor's shift hours are a little different than mine so keeping this schedule daily is a bit much.

Popularity Contests

2009-08-02T10:09:00.000-07:00

First, the family of Captain Michael Speicher can finally have closure. Capt. Speicher was shot down early in the Gulf War and his body has finally been found and identified.

I'd like to think this is a major news story back home.

In addition to this development, our movie/TV/music drive is back on-line. Morale is high.

The current great debate in the JOC is whether SEALs or Green Berets have been cooler in movies.

Air Force SOF really only have Tyrese in the Transformers movies. Technically some PJs (Pararescuement) were portrayed in Black Hawk Down, but you have to know the back story to know which guys weren't soldiers.

The Army can claim John Wayne.

The Army maintains that John Wayne can't be topped.

I'm inclined to agree.

The Navy has Charlie Sheen. And lots of great cheesy lines to quote from the Navy SEALs movie. They had Bruce Willis, but as movie SEAL we think he put his team at risk to get the girl more than to save a bunch of refugees.

I won't mention which motive has more appeal to Team guys at this point in the deployment...

Navy SEALs got their butts kicked in The Rock.

However, we are fairly certain Magnum P.I. was a former SEAL. If you don't get that refrence, you are either too young, were raised in a communist country (but should have been watching bootleg versions), or you are a bad person.

But, then the Army can counter with Rambo. OK, so sure he destroyed a small town in the Pacifc Northwest... but as John Rambo points out... they drew first blood.

And then Rambo singlehandedly re-fought and decisively won the Vietnam War, kicked the Soviets out of Afghanistan, and killed every bad guy in Burma. No movie SEAL has done that.

Unfortunately for the SEALs, while G.I. Jane did prove that a bald woman doing one-armed push-up can be incredibly attractive, the overall plot and portrayal of Naval Special Warfare doesn't earn any cool points.

It's not a sexist thing, just a cheesy plot thing.

So right now, Green Berets beat SEALs in the movie department.

The Air Force is in a distant third, and formal Marine participation in SOCOM is too new to have any movie representation.

There are probaly movies about Recon Marines, but that Daman Wayans movie where he plays a teacher erases any cool points they may have.

Sorry guys.

And in another small world moment, I ran in to one of the guys from my Company at Airborne School.

In case you are curious, out of all my various projects and day-to-day efforts, my lasting contribution to CJSOTF-AP will be:

Merino Wool T-shirts.

Yes, Terramar Merino Wool shirts available through Sierra Trading Post in close to desert sand color. I found them first. People keep asking me about them and buying them.

I started my first trend.

The other trend we discuss occasionally is the disfunctional awards system.

A lot of the guys can't help but compare their awards to what their parents and grandparents received in WWII, Korea, and Vietnam.

One guy commented that his father had five medals after his time with 82nd Airborne in WWII. The guy, with many rotations all over the world in the SF community, has many many medals but still isn't sure if his achievements compare to what his father had to do.

There is also the constant annoyance at the Bronze Star Medal. There are two Bronze Stars. There is the Bronze Star that functions as a Meritorious Service Medal in a War Zone and then there is the much less common but more well known Bronze Star with Valor for heroism in combat.

There are chow hall managers with multiple Bronze Stars that look real impressive on paper. And there are guys with multiple combat rotations that have never gotten more than an Commendation Medal.

They really need to scrap the Bronze Star as a staff medal and keep solely as a combat award. It confers a certain aura that is often undeserved, even if the person did to an excellent job. That was our conclusion.

I have issues with the Air Force processing SOF awards through conventional chains as well. It takes too long and ends up with clueless people making unfair determinations.

I've been fortunate to work in Joint positions in my rotations, but some of my guys are still waiting on their hard-earned awards from rotations a few years back.

Joint Operations Officer

2009-08-01T11:53:00.000-07:00

We have lots of acronymns. It's its own language, really. In that spirit, I have a new knickname.

I am the Joint Operations Officer. The J.O.O.

I'll give you a minute with that.

It started with a Southpark episode where Cartman spells "Jew" wrong. And then it worked so nicely as an acronymn that it became a thing.

And true to stereotype, right now I'm working on finding discount equipment. It's for my team. My unit's budget is not what it should be and we often get caught in the middle while the National Guard Bureau and the Active Duty command we fall under when mobilized fight over who should pay for what.

So my latest idea is to equip some of us by calling the manufacturers and seeing if they will give us some samples to test and evaluate. They get some exposure with the opportunity for more sales in the future (plus they can advertise that their stuff is used by military special operators... it works for The Perfect Push-Up). We get some needed equipment to test before investing limited dollars on everyone.

My first test will be field uniforms. Out active duty peers have a specific field uniform that is designed in a pattern that is more effective than the issued uniforms and tailored specifically for current needs. What works for the larger conventional force doesn't always work for us and we have a little more flexibility to pick and choose.

It is the uniform that one of my guys will be expected to have on some upcoming events and I don't want him to have to borrow someone else's like I did during my train-up. He won't be able to borrow it downrange and he should have what he needs before he deploys.

Since I'm stuck at headquarters right now, it's less of an issue for me. My counterparts in other theaters have gotten to go out on missions so it could be an issue for next time.

I'm also looking into some hiking boots and field packs. Military boots have gotten better, much better, over the years. But for the most part they are way behind civillian hiking boots. For field use, my guys can use better and shouldn't have to pay out of pocket for it.

The last is a new pack design that some of the teams have issued. It was designed specifically around our radios and to fit over armor.

It probably won't work. But asking is free.

I now have to go change in to a dirty uniform. I got off shift, went to the gym for a quick run, and now back into a uniform for the first combatives class.

Should be fun.

No Food. No Water. No Problem.

2009-07-30T10:53:00.000-07:00

The biggest problem with observing a fast day here is the way it disrupts my routine.

I didn't PT last night. I didn't have my Shock Coffee & Health Shake for breakfast. No lunch or dinner breaks.

It just makes the day last longer.

It does, I guess, give me time to work on various projects.

I don't feel particularly hungry or thirsty. Just bored.

Maybe we should invade another nearby country. But only if it would get me out of the JOC.

Well, I was bored until I let someone borrow my truck (I have my own truck, on loan from the another AF guy, since he has two... I don't know how he got them and it doesn't matter). The guy who borrowed the truck tossed the keys to me. But it was a bad toss, the bounced off some of my equipment, slid across the desk, and went down a hole in the floor along the wall.

So, using my little LED light on my keychain, I found the keys. I then had to take apart a floor board, which justified once again always having a Gerber or Leatherman tool.

Keys recovered. Mission success.

I also did decide to take a dinner break. I didn't eat anything, but it broke up the day some. Went with some other guys to the chow hall and got some take out to eat after the fast.

In the end, I grabbed a cookie from the communal cookie jar to break the fast. I didn't even eat all of my take out meal.

And if I'm lucky... the promised Shock coffees will be restocked.

The Smartest People Here

2009-07-29T10:49:00.000-07:00

The smartest guys here are the third-country nationals (TCN) that work for the contractor responsible for cleaning our bathroom trailers.

They wear masks when it is dusty out. We don't. I always comment on it. I never get a mask or a bandana or something.

It's not like major dust events surprise me. I'm the weather guy. I've been expecting this for days and told everyone else to expect it.

I was issued a bunch of bandana-like things that were called desert scarfs. I even brought one with me.

But it's still sealed in it's bag and sitting in my bag.

Maybe next time.

This can't be healthy.

Another threat to my health that I've signed up for is a Comabtives class that will be taught by one of the guys here. He's a certified instructor and will actually be able to award ratings. His one warning was that it would not be a gentlemen's class so we should prepare to be bruised and battered.

Good times.

I like our little bubble here. The conventional side of Balad has fast-food trailers and a movie theater. We have our gyms, range, and combatives room (and now an instructor able to make time to teach).

Besides, until our entertainment drive crashed, we could watch movies at work.

If they don't get that fixed soon, the network people may find themselves the objective of a unilateral American operation.

I'm also noticing that some of our troops are really really young.

One of the senior NCOs noticed a particularly baby-faced private and called him over. He asked this confused kid if his momma knew where he was.

The private smiled sheepishly and mumbled "Yes, sar'nt."

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Most importantly though, today is my sister's birthday. I'm on the phone with her now.

Hi.

Terminators are Real

2009-07-28T11:27:00.000-07:00

There I was, observing as one of the younger soldiers adjusted the various remote sighting systems for the guns, staring down the barrel of the .50 cal with it's various electronic eyes all staring at me.

Terminators are real. They are just not quite invented yet. But we're getting frighteningly close.

Right now I am now certified to operate this system, it obeys my commands, and will only kill when I tell it to.

But, if someone claiming to be from the future tells you to come with them if you want to live, I'm a little closer to recommending that you listen.

My wife mentioned to me that I may gotten too technical while describing the course in my last post...

Just in case, a VBIED is modern military-speak for a car bomb. A vehicle-borne improvised explosive device.

They are bad.

I think most of the other technical terms were the names of different guns.

The M-2 is a .50 cal (as in the diameter of the bullet is a 1/2 inch) heavy machine gun. It was designed by John Moses Browning and entered service in 1919. Even our future robot overlords will not be able to significantly improve on it.

The M240B is a 7.62mm general purpose machine gun. Smaller than the M-2, it is meant to be carried or mounted on vehicles. Whatever the situation dictates.

If I remember right, it is pretty much just a Mag 58, which is pretty much just a German MG42 from WWII. It still works just fine.

The Mk46 and Mk48 are smaller machine guns in 5.56mm (the same caliber as our M-4 carbines, the ubiquitous shorter versions of the M-16) and 7.62mm calibers that are easier to carry. There are trade-offs to the smaller size, but they seem to work just fine.

Ounces are pounds and pounds are pain... so smaller can be much better for the guy that has to carry the equipment around. Smaller can often mean a shorter barrel, which will generally translate into slower bullet velocity out of the barrel and inferior terminal ballistics as well.

Weapons are tools. When you have options, pick the one best suited to the task at hand.

As an Air Force guy though, my favorite weapon is still a radio. If the first rule of a gunfight is to bring all of your friends with guns... it's always better to bring all of your friends with guns and bombs and an overhead view of all that is happening.

On the topic of friends, I realized when someone was going home that we never say good bye here. It's not because of sentiment, but because odds are we'll see each other again on some future deployment, exercise, or boondoggle of a trip.

The military with its millions of people is really a very small place. The SOF community is even smaller.

Within every SOF specialty there is a saying that if you ain't cheatin', you ain't trying. If you get caught, you ain't (insert name of specialty that thinks it coined this cliche here).

True to form, the hoarding of Gatorade Health Shakes from the chow hall has begun anew. Karl Marx may have preached about giving according to your abilities and taking only according to your needs, but the distribution of desired goodies from the chow hall is based more on a Social Darwinism.

He who can take the most, the fastest, has the most soonest. Sometimes that is fodder for trading.

Me? I just think a Gatorade Health Shake and a Shock Coffee make a great breakfast.

I do, however, need to take inventory of my kit and evaluate what I am willing to use as for trading and what I'm either accountable for or truly want/need.

There may be some good opportunities for new or new-to-me toys.

My partner was kind enough to donate a pair of flame-resistant ACUs to me. He forgot his ACU name tapes at home, and doesn't plan on paying to have new ones made here since he doesn't really care for the ACUs anyway. He also has a bunch of ACUs back at home already so the new ones he got issued here are of no use to him.

Unfortunately, one thing I can't trade for is a new pair of running shoes. I believe I mentioned earlier that I found a good deal on a the pair I've been looking for and ordered them. Well, the company emailed me back to say they were kidding.

They don't have my size.

Apparenlty finding running shoes sized like snow shoes will be more difficult than I thought. Oh well.

Head Space and Timing

2009-07-27T10:44:00.000-07:00

MRAP guys did have Shock Coffees. They were willing to share.

And the other people restocked.

Life is good.

Meanwhile at the remote control machine gun class we learned all about the system. It's a machine gun, not a sniper rifle. But the first shot accuracy, and that it is rapdily followed by many more accurate shots, is pretty impressive. Especially from the relative--but not perfect, never perfect--safety of an armored cocoon of an MRAP.

We got to practice with a simulator, which was really a glorifed first-person shooter game. The younger guys with their video game experience picked up the gaming part of it pretty quick. The older guys picked on the simulation part of it.

Young guys, with less experience, didn't adjust ranging as often, were less conscious of ammo usage, and played a game more than experienced a simulation.

It was also interesting to note that some of the guys instinctively targetted trucks and other civilian vehicles that are often the threat here. But they didn't target the "enemy" armored vehicles in the scenarios.

Cold Warriors would have been the reverse, with instinctive recognition of Russian armor and less awareness of VBIEDs.

Balance is hard.

I'm probably reading too much in to it. We weren't using the software to practice missions. We were just using it to learn the system. And it was very effective.

At the core of this incredible technological beast is a machine gun that was last updated in 1919. The venerable M-2 .50 Caliber machine gun.

If John Moses Browning invented it, leave it alone. It works.

We spent a lot of time reviewing its function, disassembling it, and checking the head space and timing (to make sure the trigger mechanisms and barrel spacing was correct... lest the weapon blow up).

Unfortunately, there was no live fire part of the course. A little unsatisfying, to say the least.

Tomorrow we work on one more automated system with the M240B machine gun. A smaller caliber gun that is derrived from the German MG42 machine gun. I guess there really is no school like the old school when it comes to machine guns.

Well, the Mk46 and Mk48 are pretty newish, but I haven't gotten to play with them yet.

Green Beans!!!

2009-07-26T12:27:00.000-07:00

Green Beans you foul temptress. Waiting there, just a few trailers away from the barbershop, pictures of sugary coffee beverages like a visual siren song waiting to capture weary troops...

I resisted. I was waiting for my haircut. It was right there, but I held off. Too close to dinner. I didn't need a sugary yummy "coffee."

But we have run out of Shock coffees. By "we," I mean the unit I've been, um, borrowing, them from for the past months.

It's such a problem that I told a friend of mine their to complain to the their supply people.

Of course, I can stop any time. I don't need my Shock coffee. I just want it. They are the base on which my morning routine is built.

Hopefully the people running the remote control machine gun goodness class tomorrow have a secret stash in their fridge. The MRAP guys did.

If not, I'll grab some from the MRAP guys.

While at the PX I picked up a toothbrush for a buddy. When he said thanks, I told him it was a gift for all of us.

This led to some jokes about chemical warfare. Which is one of three things that will make any hardened steely eye killer truly scared.

1. Chemical Warfare. The only thing scarier than a chemical attack is being stuck in your chemical gear for any period of time...

2. Explosives. EOD guys excepted, they raise the pucker factor. But they will solve most problems, one way or another.

3. Signing things. You sign for a multi-million dollar piece of government property that is about to be horribly abused and see how you feel...

Signing for things is the worst. The first two, if the worst happens, you're dead or too messed up to worry about it for a while.

But once you've signed for something... death can't save you.

Anyway, at chow my decision not to get Green Beans was validated. The evil Army men convinced me to get ice cream.

There was no Cookies 'n Cream. There was vanilla ice cream and A & W Root Beer...

Root Beer Float: Quite possibly my greatest achievement of this rotation.

Don't worry, I was told that ordering running shoes counted karmically as a PT session. I'm excited but nervous. These are an updated version of a pair of shoes I loved. I hope that the updates are actually improvements. My current shoes aren't quite dead, but will be soon, and I never had any knee issues running in that last pair.

We'll see.

So, back on track... scariest moment so far was when some one came up to us and said he had a quick question.

Two of us simultaneously interupted him and said, "42."

And to close... I saw an Op-Ed on the Huffington Post by some screenwriter about how it is hard t obe an American... I'm sure he has it tough becaus he feels so deeply about the issues.

The little summary below the link asked "Who amongst us can say we're actually doing the hard work of being an American?"

I don't know Mr. Screenwritier Archetype from Team America's Film Actor's Guild... enlighten me.

Oh, and Oliver Stone accused the CIA and Military Intelligence of killing Kennedy.

I'm glad he cleared that up for us.

Do the Right Thing

2009-07-25T10:31:00.000-07:00

OK, I haven't posted in a few days. It's amazing how even when things are slow you can still lose track of time. I guess nothing either I could blog about or worth blogging about happened. Maybe I was just distracted. I don't know. But today was one my ice cream days so all is well in the world.

Unfortunately making things all right in the world isn't always fun. One of the NCOs here had to step up and explain to a couple of different ranking officers why the proposed changes to his job would be wrong and bad for the mission. He did this even though the proposed changes would have made his life a lot more fun. It just would have created some dangerous gaps.

I've had a few not so fun moments too. I had to essentially fire someone, and work to arrange for them to be swapped out with someone else. No fun for all involved, but mission needs require it.

I also have to deal with an awards issue. Apparently the command wants to restore some sanity and objectivity to how they give out awards. Great. But when checking on the awards status for the last weather team I noticed that the awards for me and my partner have been downgraded. I asked about it, and was told a new time limit for eligibility was established for the higher award, and we won't mee it.

It's not like we get a free toaster once we earn enough Joint Commendation Medals. So I'm not trying to collect the award just to collect it. I'm not doing anything here for the medals.

However, I also don't want the NCO I work with to have to explain to his home unit why the last guy to work this desk got a higher award than he did. It looks bad. If we did something wrong, downgrade us or don't give us anything. But don't mess with our records over some arbitrarily instituted new standard. So I get to fight that silly fight.

I guess some of the silliness is a result of the war winding down. We can't get complacent, but at the same time it is much slower and much different here than it was even a few months ago. This gives commands time to look for things get involved with, which probably leads to the medal issues. It has given me time, while stuck as a staff officer at a command (an officer being good and understanding the staff process is another do the right thing issue... it sucks, we'd all rather be out with our team and doing the mission but officers hiding from and not knowing staff functions are what put the NCO mentioned above in a position he should not have been in) to come up with projects.

Some of my projects have dead ended, but were good for my education. Others are moving slowly forward. A little patients and taking time to ask the right questions means they will happen more gradually than I'd like, but will be done right because they were staffed properly across various commands.

I would love to just kit up, jump in a helicopter, and get it all done. But I need to ensure the proper logistics and long term issues are resolved for all of my initiatives.

Sadly, this means some one else will likely get to do the fun part of "doing."

At least it'll get done.

Special Forces and SEAL officers get stuck doing staff work too. It's just a little frustrating that while they have the ODA or Platoon time built into their career path to get actual tactical experience, our operational window is much narrower. I'm too senior to have any fun.

I'm also doing some more document review for my Guard unit back home in conjunction with the folks up at the National Guard Bureau. Hopefully it'll make things better for the guys we do send forward.

As I've said before, I'm also using the spare time to pick up various other certifications. Admittedly, I probably won't get to employ the remote weapons system I'm going to get trained up on this week, but I'll be familiar with the system and able to direct training and exercises using it in the future.

To work out the stress at work I bought my own Captain of Crush grippers. My buddy who owned the ones I'd been using went home and took his toys with him. They came in a few days ago. Just be careful shaking my hand when I get home. I won't know my own strength.

I'm also reading a book called 1491 about Native Americans before Columbus as part of our little book club here. Really interesting. It's just as much about the development of new theories among historians/anthropologists/archeologists as it is about the actual history.

We also stay entertained telling old stories and complaining to each other. I've learned a lot about other people's jobs. I've learned what happens when you let Marines get bored. I know one guy has a theory that when he comes to Iraq the best way to adjust is to drink a bottle of tap water real fast... after that first week there are no more digestive issues.

Moments of Clarity

2009-07-21T10:19:00.000-07:00

I was chatting on-line with a friend who had the thankless job of defending Congress since he works for one of the staffs. I shared some of our gripes and the issue of the CIA being everybodies punching bag came up.

He pointed out, or at least made me realize, that I tend to use congress as my easy punching bag for much of what is wrong. Granted, while Congress as an institution is a beautiful thing, the members are usually deserving of the scorn with which I regard them. However, that is not always the case.

I don't intend to idealize the military. The bureaucracy is ridiculous. There are some brilliant folks and some true winners. But as a whole, it does seem we tend to take our mission and our duty seriously.

After our chat, I wonder if a perceived--if not real--lack of seriousness about things among the civilian leadership is at the root of much my frustration. And maybe that of my peers, though I am hesitant to generalize. We read the news and among appointees and elected leaders, "leaders," point scoring and polls seem more important than adult decisions.

I don't know. I talk about adult decisions but was laughing at chow when one of the guys was telling stories about patrols with an Iraqi force he was training. One of his guys stopped to lick a rock just to see if the Iraqis would all stop to lick the rock too because the American did.

They did.

All kidding aside though, it was interesting to hear them talk about the development of some of the forces we work with now. A few years ago on joint patrols some of the Americans would lead while the others pretended to lead while really watching the Iraqis in case they turned on us.

Now there is a real trust. That's from a guy who's had to put his life in Iraqi hands.

OK, so all my posts are kind of rambling with rough transitions and no real theme. I feel like I should be bothered by that, but I'm OK with it.

Propoganda

2009-07-20T11:27:00.000-07:00

So the Taliban released a video showing the troop they captured. No surprise there.

The question we've been debating here was whether it was right for the media to replay the video and give the Taliban free airtime to exploit this soldier.

We are a democracy, an open society, and the capture of any of our troops is news. None of us disagreed with that. But was it necessary to go beyond reporting the fact that one of our troops was missing, captured, etc. and replay the video?

I didn't have much to say because I'm wasn't sure where I stood. The more I think about it, the less I like playing the released video. It gives the Taliban free propoganda. It becomes further incentive to capture our troops.

I guess the argument for playing the video is that is keeps the story in the news, and hopefully makes the hostage more valuable alive, rather than dead. Maybe there was consent from the our government to air the tape. I don't know.

I do know that various media outlets were very capable of keeping quiet when one of their own was captured because they decided publicity was a greater risk than silence.

Something to ponder.

All I know is that all of us here hope we can find this troop and rescue him.

We've seen the tapes that don't get aired that show how these things end. Sometimes I wonder if more people saw those tapes that they'd realize just what it is we are fighting against. But I doubt it. It would seem unreal in its stark reality, the effects are nowhere near as good as the latest Michael Bay flick, and it is too far away and happening to a stranger.

I hope that's just me being cynical.

That cynicism probably says something sad about civil-military relations... maybe we can tackle that one on another day.

As always though, whatever else is going on in the world, the ball keeps rolling here.

I got one response to one of my proposals so far. He punted... not his call to make.

At least he didn't shoot it down. And this individual was more cc'd as courtesy and to BS check since he has some informal influence but it really isn't his call.

I also had a funny exchange with one of the senior NCOs here. He was asking when I go home, which led to him asking if I was stationed at Fort Bragg.

I told him no, I'm Guard. I admit, it is always nice when people assume I'm Active Duty. It stokes the ego, and this fine forecasting machine runs on props (did I mention I watched Seasons 1-7 of Scrubs since getting here?).

The Guard issue always prompts the question of what I do when I'm not doing this. I explained I'm a Law Student, which jarred his memory, cause it probably came up when I first got here.

As we talked I said it was actually kind of a nice break. As much as I enjoy the learning process, I'm not a great fit in academia.

When I said that Law School as an institution and Law Students in particular have an inflated sense of self-importance, he said the Special Forces guys are the same way.

One of the many ways this place, really these people, can keep me grounded.

Another great moment was when one of the guys I would coordinate with here logged into one of our chat rooms from back home. Just as he was asking how things were going, I was posting that one of the conventional weather guys needs to be pistol whipped.

My friend concluded that nothing had changed.

No, I didn't pistol whip him.

Yes, I still think he needs it. But I won't.

No, it was not an open chat room. It is restricted for SOF forecasters. There is a log, as with all chat rooms, but given the things we've said about each other's lineage and social relations, I don't think the pistol whipping comment would be the first thing to get us in trouble if someone where so bored and uptight as to check through them for such comments.

Rambo Can Fix Anything.

2009-07-19T12:42:00.001-07:00

I was told I needed to see the last Rambo movie. It was kind of a slow day, so I had it on in the background this morning.

For those who don't know, when we last left John Rambo over twenty years ago, he had been pardoned for destroying a small town as a reward for saving lost POWs and re-fighting and winning in Vietnam. He had kicked the Soviets out of Afghanistan.

The new movie finds him living the quiet life in Thailand when suddenly he needs to rescue a damsel in distress in Burma.

Rambo killed every bad guy in Burma. Every one of them. With a bow and arrow, a machete he made from a truck's leaf spring (actually, a common way of making the tool in poorer countries), and .50 Cal machine gun that he commandeered at just the right time.

Not a family movie. But Burma is on my list of countries where there are some truly evil people that just need to be shot but we, for a variety of reasons, will never go in and shoot them.

At least Rambo did it.

Being that it was a relatively slow day for me, I could re-engage on the planning project that got me in trouble early in this rotation. I'm smarter now. I know who to go through. I know what most (or at least some) of the guiding documents are. So I'm trying again, since I think the end result I was pursuing was still the right answer.

If nothing else, I'll learn more about why the people above me think my answer is wrong (even if it's not...). I'll have a better understanding, I hope, of how things work. And I'll be better prepared when I am working the higher levels in the future.

My counterpart in Afghanistan agrees with me, but was saying that his attitude has become one of "shut up and color." There's a time for that, but for me, it's not that time yet. He can't ruffle too many feathers because there are only so many SOWT Officer positions and rocking the boat hurts your chances of staying in the community. I, however, am in the Guard. My position is safe. I need to maintain a good working relationship, and don't want to needlessly create trouble. But in this case I am a little more free to question some things.

We'll see.

That said, when I am working those higher levels of command... well God help us all.

I also had another opportunity to get educated on some of our systems. One of the aircrews was offering a tour of their bird to the ground guys. In addition to learning more about their capabilities and how they work, I was able to learn more about how I, as a weather guy, can better support their operations and better support our ground ops with planning knowledge on it's limitations.

I also used this information to compare notes with our air controller, who runs the program for the guys directing air strikes, so that my planning information is tailored to the abilities and equipment of not only the aircraft but to the guy directing the aircraft.

It was a very informative session and I got tinker with some very cool toys.

Definitely one of those moments where I was glad that this equipment was on our side.

It may be cliche, but bad guys can run from this thing, but they will only die tired.

Embracing my role...

2009-07-18T11:53:00.000-07:00

I start off this post with a nod to someone who is very responsible for me being where I am today. And for my being, period. Today is my Father's birthday.

He taught me all of the words that I need to be able to use well in order to fit in here.

Despite all of my claims to be setting out on my own path, I went to the same undergraduate school the he did. I am now, despite having sworn not to and having seen enough to know better, following him to law school. Maybe he was on to something.

While being a paratrooper is something he would never do, I think I get a lot of my work ethic (the good part of it) from him--I may also get my procrastination from how he submits his hours.

He very quietly had done a lot of work for charitable institutions, his own firm, international organizations, and political appointees. When it is all done right, it rarely makes the news and is all too often unrecognized except among his peers.

More importantly, my wife is hopeful that I will also have as much of my hair as he does when I'm his age.

- - - - - - - - - -

I got a message from my counterpart in another theater asking how I liked being a staff guy. I guess I could complain more, but I may as well make the most of it.

My goal at the outset was to make this better for the next guy and improve the support we are providing to our teams. Today I think I got the ball rolling on few projects.

I've been doing my homework, learning the processes, gathering the contacts, today I struck. We'll see where it goes, but I'm pretty excited. Some of these are things that past guys in my seats have tried and failed. I studied their mistakes and hope I learned the right lessons from them.

Hopefully the fact that I've been ahead of any guidance I've gotten from higher commands bodes well.

Like I said, we'll see how it all shakes out.

I've also been having fun at dinner. I've been eating with some of the senior JOC staff and we solve the world's problems and have our own little reading club.

We have more fodder because my parents just sent me a package with cookies and magazines. I gave the People magazine to a friend of mine to give to a friend of his who said she reads it. The Economist and Smithsonian magazines will be big hits.

The cookies are excellent but poorly times. You see, someone else had just opened a package of brownies. After I had ice cream at lunch.

I like cookies.

Learn Something New...

2009-07-16T11:44:00.000-07:00

I learned that one of the guys here who goes back to his hooch to brush his teeth after every meal is the son of a dental hygienist.

I learned that it's not just me and the current chaplain is more low key than other chaplains I've encountered in SOF.

For example, it was mentioned to me that one of the recent chaplains was a big dude, built like Brock Lesnar, with a similar affinity for mixed martial arts. The guy who was telling me about him apparently started a rumor that an injury his boss received during combatives training was the result of being beat up by the chaplain.

People believed it.

The current chaplain is more Father Mulcahey-ish.

Takes all kinds.

In the meantime, I've enjoyed BSing with one of the other Air Force guys about Special Tactics shenanigans. It's also interesting to learn more about what other people do and how they do it.

I'm still working on future planning to set up my replacements for success. As you can imagine, things are in flux.

Things are always in flux.

But now I've got some meetings with my counterparts in some other elements and will be doing some more coordination with the conventional folks to try and firm things up some.

It's crazy, but from the moment I got here I've been working on how it needs to be when I leave.

Similarly, I guess, shortly after my wife got to the clinic in South America they began plotting for when they go back next year. She's probably too busy to let it hit her, but I'm in shock that after watching so many months of hard work, their trip is almost over.

A Tangible Accomplishment

2009-07-15T11:44:00.000-07:00

Now I'm officially certified to drive an MRAP. I passed the written test and the day/night driving evaluation.

Not that it was particularly hard, I didn't crash and the night test was pretty much just driving with headlights on. Granted, it is a large beast with poor visibility.

The fun part was changing a tire. Well, being king of the road was fun too. But changing a tire involved jumping on a wrench to break torque on the lug nuts.

Another part that is sure to be a hit at childrens' parties was the roll-over egress trainer. There is actually mock-up of an MRAP-type vehicle that you can strap in to, and then they roll it over so you can practice unbuckling and crawling out the various doors and hatches.

Being upside down, hanging from your seatbelt, while wearing all of your armor and equipment, you need to brace yourself before just dropping free. It sounds obvious, but some people forget that when the adrenaline is going.

When the vehicle is on its side and your buddy that was sitting next to you or across from you is now dangling on top of you... well you better remind him to wait until you are free and in a position to support him before he drops with a thud on to you.

Good times.

Now I need to see what other certifications I can pick up while I'm here.

I still need to get spun up on the remote control machine gun that can be mounted to the top of the MRAP.

Even though they are so 2006, I think my next vehicle will be an up-armored Humvee. Not really that different than a normal Humvee, but may as well get the official paperwork done.

I Must Have One

2009-07-14T10:49:00.000-07:00

OK, on the outside the MRAP looks like a prop from Mad Max. On the inside, it is something out of Stark Trek, but real and better.

Today was a bit crazy. It started with my night guy knocking on my door just before my alarm went off. I was worried at first that I'd overslept. But no, he just wanted to make sure I knew to take my armor with me to the course.

Originally I was told just to take my helmet, but that was wrong. I'm very appreciative of the effort he made to get me the news. Part of me was annoyed because I had time to run back to my hooch after I checked in at the JOC, but he couldn't have known that would be the case.

I hadn't told him that I had padded my schedule some to ensure I wouldn't be late.

I was late.

I had directions. They were pretty good directions. Not quite good enough. The training site was well hidden and not marked. Ultimately, after driving past it repeatedly for an hour and half (I was all set to be over a half hour early...), I found it.

Of course.

Because it was a very small class, the instructors were flexible. They were fast, but did not rush us. They quizzed us repeatedly as we went to make sure we were learning the systems and the vehicles limitations, fuel tank capacity, type of oil, operating ranges for various systems, etc.

Turning it on is a complicated procedure. Opening the doors requires a checklist. But wow, it is an impressive machine.

The various design features to not only armor the crew compartment but to protect the passengers from impacts forces are incredible. It also incorporates a wide array of technological features that shows the end user was considered during it's rushed design.

The trade-off is that it is an incredibly ungainly beast. There are small emergency air SCUBA-like tanks for if the MRAP rolls into water. People have drowned in them.

Fortunately, it is the essentially the same emergency air system I'd been trained on for helicopter egress training, so it was one less new thing to take up limited brain space.

As with all armor solutions, your trade mobility for protection... which only lasts until th enemy makes a bigger bomb or you deter/interdict the enemy to the point that bombs are no longer a threat.

Cavemen had the same debates.

All in all I was very pleasantly surprised by the MRAP.

If they can improve the mileage some, I'll be tempted to buy one.

I also got a reassuring email that was seconded by my night shift guy. There's been a chain of emails about command and control issues between a few SOWT officers. Things can get convoluted and we were collaborating on some ideas to simplify things and improver them.

The first step is to understand where things stand now and what the problems are. I summed up my thoughts on it and sent them out. I got a reply from one of the smart guys affirming what I wrote.

My night guy read it and said it was the first time any one explained it in a way that didn't confuse him further.

I hope I have it right. I think I do, because I've gotten to work under a variety of the command structures we were discussing during my short career. I have troops working under those various elements now.

For their sake, I really better be right because I need to be able to advocate for them and make sure they are taken care of properly.

If not, I better figure it out quick.

Baby Steps...

2009-07-13T11:58:00.000-07:00

First, a reminder for everyone to call or email my wife tomorrow and wish her a Happy Birthday. She doesn't want to make a big deal out of it, she is incredibly busy training a new group of volunteers in addition to the daily work they are doing at the clinic, and barely has time to read her emails.

Wish her a Happy Birthday anyway.

I have successfully scheduled MRAP training. The next time I post I should be a certified driver. I may even be certified to operate the remote weapons system.

It's kind of amazing that we are still using a machine gun designed 100 years ago, just mounting it on a robotic swivel on a vehicle out of a cheesy 80's movie.

Gaston Glock has nothing on John Moses Browning... even if I did buy a Glock over a 1911.

Hopefully, once I meet the instructors, I can get a list of the other vehicles we have on hand that I can get certified on. May as well. This plan is moving from the nice idea column to the in-execution column.

Unfortunately, I'm not the only one who get regular visits from the good idea fairy. One of my peers had a great idea that I'm trying to make sense of. It could end up with me doing more work, which is fine, but I can't understand what the work is supposed to accomplish.

I pinged one of the Senior NCOs I trust on these issues to BS check it. He doesn't get it either.

Whatever. The process of vetting these ideas usually leaves me smarter than I was before, so I guess either way it is a good opportunity.

Solving the World's Problems.

2009-07-12T10:32:00.000-07:00

OK. So we solved nothing.

We couldn't agree if there is a Car Tzar, a Car Tsar, or Car Czar. Most of us aren't really fans of the concept of Tsars/Tzars/Czars in general, but they are fun to discuss.

We also discussed health care reform since it was on TV in the chow hall. It is interesting that so many of us who are (at least while I'm on orders) essentially on a governmnent provided health care plan are opposed to that as a systemic solution. I also wondered aloud if buying into Tricare Reserve Select, essentially a public option of sorts that is only open to members of the Guard and Reserve since it is roughly like buying into the medical plan provided to the active duty forces, would be hypocritical for someone (me, for instance) who does not support the public option as a real means to keep costs down.

Something to ponder.

One guy also decided that the should try to register as a Muslim, Christian, and Jew to see if he'd get three day weekends. I warned him that the Jew thing wouldn't help much since I've had to work through plenty of holidays. The Muslim thing wouldn't work because he'd just end up with a Fatwa against him and death threats for being an apostate due to the competing claims of being a Jew and Christian.

Besides, there are no days off here anyway. Well some people have days off, but with certain exceptions, if you have days off then your shop is overmanned and some of you wastes of space should be sent home.

I suggested he try Wiccan instead since he could make up holidays and no one would be the wiser.

Also, as books rotate around, I essentially flipped a coin with another officer as to who would get to read The Founding Fathers and 1491. I ended up with 1491, and then we'll swap afterwards.

The other officer is curious as to how the Native Americans managed their waste. As someone who has spent a lot of time in the field and is trained to work with various peoples, he said you can learn a lot about a culture by how it manages its poo (picture Woody from Toy Story: "Somebody poisoned the water hole!"). Somehow, it never comes up in the pop history that most of us are exposed to about the Native Americans.

I suspect 1491 will dispel a lot of myths. However, the index does not have the words bathroom, restroom, defecate, water closet, poo or any other semi-professional terminology that addresses my friend's question.

The Founding Fathers should be interesting too. It got a ringing endorsement from a SEAL.

I also discovered a library in our MWR hooch. Well, discovered it like De Sote "discovered" the Mississippi River. It was new to me and now I'm publicizing it.

I snagged an old yellow copy of Our Town. I'll probably blow through that a few times over the next week before reading anything else.

I also saw something incredibly disturbing. Some middle-aged dude was walking around with a popped collar. That is all kinds of wrong.

And since my mom asked when I was on the phone with her, I'll mention that I don't get any second class treatment because I'm a Guard guy. They only care about performance here. If you do your job, good. If not, you will be fired or have your career nuked via performance report.

I get made fun of for being Guard. For being Air Force. For being Jewish. For being short. For being a weather guy. For anything really.

I make fun of other people for being Army, for being Navy, for being short, for being old, for being young, for being whatever they are.

All of it horribly politically incorrect, most of us thick skinned, and have a lot of fun with it.

Pocket SCIF

2009-07-11T10:57:00.001-07:00

In a slow moment today we had a little campfire in the JOC and BS'ed some more. The topic of the pocket SCIF came up. A SCIF is a secure vault where top secret material is handled. A pocket SCIF is a highly illegal means of transporting classified material.

It is a pocket. And we would never transport classified material in a pocket. Definitely not in a cargo pocket. Not in a lower leg pocket. Never in a sleevepocket.

So many options. All off limits though.

In case you are curious, I do keep a notepad in my lower leg pocket though. Very handy.

We also learned that the grip strength things work a lot better if you oil them on occassion. The idea is to fight the spring tension, not metal-on-metal friction. A litte bit of gun lube and they don't squeak as much either.

Clearly, I'm pretty relaxed here. I'm in a groove with my job. Not cocky, but very comfortable with my forecasting and what I need to do to support our operations.

This is freeing me up to investigate side projects. My project for this week is getting certified to drive MRAPs. I may also see what other vehicles I can get signed off on while I'm here. There is a long list of vehicles I should be ready to drive, but a very short list of vehicles that my unit back home as regular access to.

I've also got some other planning projects going on. Always something.

And for the hell of it, I'm going to see if I can get some equipment replaced too. Better, faster, smaller. Why not?

We'll see how it all goes.

May as well maximize my time here.

HF is Free

2009-07-09T12:22:00.000-07:00

So I got to play with a new radio today. It was very similar and yet very different from the radios I usually play with. It was made by the same company that makes some of our walkie-talkie type team radios and larger back-pack radios. That was nice because the interface was very similar. In fact, it uses the same keypad, which saves the company money and saves us users limited brain space.

What made this radio different is that it only uses HF frequencies. None of that fancy satellite communication that we take for granted. As one of the other guys in the class likes to say, HF is free. You measure your antenna and blast it out. If you calculate right, it'll bounce around the atmosphere until it gets to your intended receiver. Roughly speaking.

On the other hand, satellite communications cost money and bandwidth. There is a nice simplicity to just shooting a signal at a satellite and letting the satellite system do the hard work of shooting it to the intended receiver. But reliance on a single system is never a good thing.

We carry GPS, but should have a paper map and compass too (and know how to use them). Similarly, we should be proficient in various means of radio communication. Unfortunately, I've probably missed the window in my career where I'll be out with a team and sending back reports via radio. But I am responsible for being an expert in how my guys can and should be employed and therefore need to know all the tools of the trade.

Besides, it got me out of the JOC for a few hours. I may schedule a couple other radio sessions while I'm out here. Never hurts.

I am also making slow progress in future planning. We'll see where it goes.

And, Groundhog Day was on in the gym this evening. Who would have thought that Groundhog Day would have a more lasting impact on military culture and lingo than Stripes?

Groundhog Day is, and remains, the greatest dramatic rendering of the deployed staff experience. Possibly of any deployed experience. Well, except for the part about changing, finding himself, and falling in love with your producer turning you in to a better man. Just the day after day after day after day after day...

And in news from back home, a friend of mine from Law School may be taking a year off to work a development contract through USAID in Afghanistan.

If society can be accepting of five years to get a liberal arts degree, the legal profession should be able to cope with people taking an extra year or so to finish their J.D... especially if they could finish an engineering degree in four...

I'm a little biased.

Besides, a year off from school with a full salary and major management/leadership responsibilities is more than many law school graduates have right out of school these days. So good for my friend.

We're not all crazy

2009-07-08T11:51:00.000-07:00

CSI: New York was on the TV in the gym during my evening PT session. I guess they'll run out of CSI spin-offs once they run out of Who songs for the intro.

Anyway, Gary Sinise is the man, so always fun to watch Lt. Dan catch bad guys. But, why... WHY??? are all veterans crazy maladjusted criminals who magically have access to "military grade" weapons?

We have been joking for a few years now that Iraq Vets with PTSD will be the fictional criminals of prime time TV in a few years like our Vietnam Vets before us. The future is now, I guess.

As for my immediate future, I get to mix things up a bit by taking a class on how to use a new radio. Not sure if I'll ever use this particular radio, but it never hurts to learn more.

Also, an aviator recently sent up a critique of conventional Air Force Weather support. His frustrations matched a lot of my own complaints with what many of the other weather troops in theater are doing and how they do it. I'm already trying to schedule a meeting with this guy so I can add his documented issues to what we are compiling.

The goal is not throw any young troops under the bus. They weren't taught. I'd love to see some senior leaders lose their heads over this, but I'd settle for some changes to the the structure and how they train.

Sadly, I'm not very optimistic that much will change. At least my guys are doing it right.

Disconnect

2009-07-07T04:57:00.000-07:00

This morning I read Bob Herbert's commentary/obituary on former Defense Secretary Robert McNamara. Some writers have tried to look back at the big picture lessons learned, some--having had a personal connection to McNamara--wrote about the man and general lessons to be learned from his flaws, and some have continued to force analogies to Vietnam on to the current conflicts.

There is a difference between learning lessons from the past that can be instructive for the future and forcing bad analogies with the past.

An example would be something I was discussing with one of the other guys here as we drove around Balad. I mentioned how all the crazy MRAP-type vehicles that look like they were taken off the set of a "Mad Max" movies weren't even in the military inventory 2 years ago. Now they are ubiquitous...

Pundits used to say that the Humvee would be to OIF what the Huey was to Vietnam. No one here drives Humvees anymore. We adapted, we found something better suited, and we fielded it on a mass scale half-way around the world. It may have seemed to take forever but when you see the sheer scale of the effort up close, it is amazing.

Even more amazing, and instructive to me about the failings of all our forced analogies, was when the guy I was riding with wondered how WWII could have jump started the economy but this awe-inspiring production, logistics, and support achievement has not. The answer to me, in my relatively uninformed, non-expert, grass-height level view of the world is that world and our economy are all so different from 70 years ago. It's not that deep, I know.

The economy is so much bigger even as technology has made the world that much smaller. We all long for the unified purpose of WWII. But part of that is more myth than reality.

There are enduring lessons. That is part of why we study history, why we can always look to the Pelopenisian War and see a reflection of our own hubris, why Sun Tzu is still read thousands of years later, and why David Galula found a new following within the military. But just because we like to say that the more things change, the more they stay the same, we still have to recognize how that little saying does acknowledge that change occurs.

This takes me back to Bob Herbert talking about Vietnam and exporting his Vietnam-ere draftee experience to the present. Iraq is not Vietnam. Afghanistan is not Vietnam. Vietnam today is not Vietnam then.

My first thought when he laments that the deaths of Americans in Afghanistan now are just as pointless as the deaths of his peers in Vietnam years ago was how little how care what he, or just about any Op-Ed writer, thinks about such things anymore.

Most of the team I trained with for this rotation is in Afghanistan. Our exercises focused on the combat scenarios they would face. I get regular updates on their fight. I have no doubt that ensuring the Taliban, as a movement and ideology, do not become the dominant force in South Asia is very much a strategically significant cause. But that's not the point right now.

My gut reaction really is to say to hell with him and his irrelevant ranting (pot meet kettle... I know). None of us care anymore. This whole post is more inspired my lack of rage at his simple dismissal of the sacrifices of my peers than by anger. Herbert hides his insult with the illusion that he is painfully speaking the needed truth to power that only he as a draftee victim of McNamara can. Rep David Obey talks about Afghanistan as if it is Vietnam and he will do his moral duty of giving a new president an arbitrary timeline and then fight it (I wish all politicians had the moral courage to not only come out against Vietnam in the late 60's after being elected from a liberal district but then do the same thing 8 years into another war...).

So I guess here's the point of this stream of consciousness:

I hope that my generation, particularly us veterans and the few of us that were actually connected to the war, are not as limited by it later in life as our current crop of aging commentators and politicians have been stunted by their selective memories of Vietnam. I'm sure it will alter our perspective on things, but we must learn from it and grow.

I really hope this whole Vietnam-colored-glasses phenomenon is just another example of boomer narcissism and entitlement and not some enduring human or at least American inability to see beyond our own experiences.

Forty years from now, I don't want to be that guy forcing an anology from how I remember Iraq on to our children's fights. I hope I'll have something intelligent and worthwhile to contribute, just like I hope have that now.

Of course, forty years from now, I hope the world is smart enough not to give me a soap box of equivalent significance to a syndicated NY Times Op-Ed column. God help us all.

----------

To clarify, this isn't meant as a personal attack on Bob Herbert or a denigration of his service to this country. My personal politics and overall philosophy are definitely to the right of what I find in his writings, but I still read his work regularly and usually appreciate his insights.

David Obey, on the other hand... I categorize him with Harry Reid and the 2006/2007 comments meant to undermine the change of strategy here in Iraq. I respect their offices, that's about it.

Lest you think I'm being too partisan... the GOP is too actively making itself irrelevant on these issues for me to care much what they say.

I know, this whole thing is a rambling mess.

Improved Vocabulary

2009-07-06T11:34:00.000-07:00

Bakla. I think it's the Tagalog word for transvestite. Whatever the language is, it means transvestite in English. And there are four baklas working for the contractor that does our laundry.

The entire beauty shop, since we have both a beauty shop and a barber here on Balad, is staffed by baklas.

This is what I learned when dropping off my laundry. Some other contractors and the nice Filipino couple that runs our laundry were discussing it.

I already knew about the beauty shop. It's pretty obvious.

At the barbershop though, I could care less. Cut my hair close to the way I want it, and I'm happy. I'm not that picky and don't really need to impress anyone here. I'm not expecting much for the $5 I spend on it, which includes a 25% tip. The webcams here aren't so great that my wife can tell the difference between a good and bad haircut via Skype anyway--just whether or not my hair is "long" or not.

I realize that my standard of long hair is different than civilian standards for long hair. I don't really measure it by length so much as hassle though. If it really needs to be brushed in the morning, then it is too long. Not that I don't brush it either way, but if I need to brush it... that is the standard.

In the background as I draft this, a senior NCO is making "neeeyah" noises to make up for the lack of volume on the Rolex Series race on AFN Sports on our flatscreens. I think it adds a little something to the excitement.

I wish we had his sound effects for the Roddick-Federer match yesterday. It may have broken the unavoidable tension that builds during such an epic event. But it would have been amusing all the same.

Over the last week I finished two Grisham books and one Crichton book that I found lying around. Maybe it's been so long since I've read any of their work, but it seems like there is more blatant moralizing in their more recent efforts.

Admittedly I share Grisham's concerns over elected judges and the whole concept of gene patents confuses me when patenting an element of nature is otherwise a no-go, but disrupting the narrative to better serve the underlying diatribe regardless of how it breaks the story-telling flow is annoying to me.

I fear subtelty, like the bunt, is quickly becoming a lost art.

Today was a crazy day becaue with the break in the weather came lots of mail. Everyone had cookies and candy from home to pass around. I also got some new PT socks and PT shorts.

The socks are basic merino wool/coolmax micro socks. Nothing special. I may start wearing my PT socks with my combat boots though. I got the idea from a Marine. At first I thought he was nuts, but then I tried it.

It's hot out. Less sock means less heat on my foot/lower leg. Nice.

The shorts were a bit of a disappointment. Not quite as loose a fit as my Ranger panties, even after I cut out the liner. But they are a little longer.

I don't have to look at me, I don't think anyone in the gym really cares, but my neighbor thanked me.

I think he's just jealous.

I also got another set of glasses and double checked my prescription. Since the glasses I brought with me have been broken beyond repair (I got what I paid for...), I figured it would be a good idea to get a spare spare pair. So I went with the competition shooter to the eye clinic. His eyes aren't what they used to be and 20/40 doesn't cut at the national level, so he figured he'd get a prescription set.

I just figured I'd double check my prescription and nab another free pair while the getting is good, so I tagged along. I was asked if the Air Force participated in whatever the acronymn was that is responsible for the eyewear issue. I shrugged my shoulders and said I've been playing Army this whole rotation and was told to go to this clinic. It worked.

The first frames I got were black. They work, but my wife doesn't like them. Not sure if it's the shape, size, or the color she didn't like. I got the second pair in silver, since there was no variety in size/shape. I hope she likes these better. These are actually pretty good quality frames.

With my glasses, my vision is apparently 20/15. Good to know my prescription hasn't changed in over two years.

Maybe it was a little dark, but on the way to the clinic we were joking that if we would need our weapons, the most likely threat would be from another soldier.

When we got the clinic, we had to check our guns. It was funny because in an almost synchronized motion we both reached back under our ACU jackets and drew our guns from our concealment holsters. We cleared them and handed them to the orderly at pretty much the same time.

While I was waiting to get on the computer to post this, one of our interpreters asked if I could help him with an email to his supervisor. I checked his spelling and syntax for him. It was pretty good, I just had to correct some minor typos and Americanize some of the punctuation.

I'm also proud to say that my wife is doing incredible things in rural South America. Her clinic has treated hundreds of patients already and everyone there looks to her to lead.

Rule of Law

2009-07-05T05:41:00.001-07:00

Rule of Law. It's boring. This thing is so very civilized.

Rule of law is good. Civilized is good. Don't get me wrong. It's just, well, not as exciting as the Wild Wild West days.

I've visited friends at Walter Reed. Recognized names of those killed in action. I see the faces of those we've lost on the plaques in the JOC every day at work. This boredom is great in the big picture.

But it can be boring.

I also wonder if hearts exploding due to Rip It overdoses and early onset of high blood pressure due to energy drink addiction will be to this phase of the war what TBI was to the prior phases.

The makers of NO-Xplode, Red Bull, and Rip It would probably band together like the Tobacco Companies and kill any such study.

Speaking of which, we convinced a new guy that his job is to maintain our not-so-secret Rip It stash. We keep it behind some folders since people were stealing from it without replenishing (take one, give two, that is the rule) when it was just on a shelf. This way we are guaranteed to have a ready stock when the chow hall runs out... say due to a sustained dust storm that lasts as long as expected and lifts when the genius forecaster said it would... I'm a little bored but still take pride in my work (which is why I just got suckered into betting a soda on what the minimum visibility will be at Balad tomorrow...).

Every meal he returns from the chow hall with each pocket full of Rip It cans.

One day I will actually replace the sign on the beverage fridges in the chow hall that says "Limit Two drinks per person" with one that says "Limit Two drinks per pocket."

Rules that can't be enforced are worse than no rules, after all.

Happy Birthday!!!

2009-07-04T10:45:00.000-07:00

First, and foremost, Happy Birthday!!! to my brother. I will call and it should still be your birthday in your timezone when I do. I'm sure you understand that with the time difference it was difficult for me to call earlier and yet be at a time when you could answer.

Also, Happy Birthday to our Declaration of Independence. It's amazing what a determined group of people who determine that they are tired of being dumped on and will make it on their own can accomplish.

On that note, I ask you to look up the website for the Erbil International Airport. Use "Blackle" instead of Google to search for it to save power, and cause it's funny. Anyway, the Kurds did that. On their own it seems.

Pretty impressive.

Fourth of July here on the red dust planet was actually pretty fun. We get a whole casual weekend for it. T-Shirt and Jeans. Nice.

When I came in to work this morning there were streamers, flags, and baloons all over. Well done, night shift.

At lunch, we had a celebratory Coors Cutter.

There was a cook out by the MWR facilities this evening, but I'm not sure how well attended it was. It's a bit dusty. I actually played the clip from Zoolander where he complains about the Black Lung in place of briefing my forecast. I figured that was explanation enough.

There was an unofficial cook out that one of the guys here found out about. He told a few of us and we all wandered off their for dinner. Some guys actually fabricated a large grill and slowly roasted a whole pig. Everyone said it was delicious.

We ate inside on folding picnic tables. I grabbed some chips and salsa. There was a cooler full of German near-beer in bottles. I sat on a folding camping chair with a little cup holder in it. Leaned back.

It was beautiful.

Some dude even busted out his guitar.

They also had a shooting competition. Also, due to weather, it wasn't so well attended. One guy, who happens to be a national competition shooter, went. He won. His prize was a commander's coin.

Not only did the commander say that this winner was a ringer, but the coin is the same coin that everyone gets when they leave here.

When he looks back on his great victories, this will not be among them.

Though it might be notable for his barely being able to make out the target at 25M due to dust.

And as I learned last time and we all agreed once again, dust does make for great epic boogers. You have a new appreciation for mucus after being here in a dust storm. You are grateful that all the dirt you cough and hack up got caught rather than stuck in your lungs.

We also debated whether men get emotionally stunted at the 5th or 9th grade level. It came up while two senior NCO's wrestled over the grip strength thingies. One put silly puddy in the spring of the gripper and then squeezed it a few times to work it in to the mechanism. The other wanted his silly puddy back and so threatened to put some valued toy of the other guy's down his pants.

Really.

We also have secret knick names for various people.

Really.

That would suggest being stunted at 5th Grade.

I still went with 9th Grade though. Due to language, certain mature interests, and a, um, "worldliness" that no 5th Grader should be aware of and 9th Graders (hopefully only) imagine.

And yes, baloons were popped at random times just to see who would jump.

Quiet Professionals.

Four Years

2009-07-04T10:41:00.000-07:00

Admittedly, neither of us are big on arbitrary dates. I regularly confuse our anniversary and her birthday. I didn't realize our anniversary was coming up so soon until we were on the phone and she corrected me.

Wedding dates, and the subsequent anniversaries of them, are rather arbitrary. But they are still milestones.

My wife and I tend to mark our anniversaries by travelling. The first anniversary found us on a road trip while moving across the country.

The second anniversary found her in Iceland and me in Iraq. At least they both start with I. And we have incredible pictures from her trip. There is one picture from my trip. It was taken in non-descript building at an indisclosed location with a large flag mounted in the background to prevent any significant information from being determined from the photo. I have never gotten a copy of the picture. I should look in to that.

I really was in Iraq though. I swear. My pay records say so.

Last year I was experiencing the great out doors at SERE school during our anniversary. I can't remember where my wife was. I think working. Oh well.

This year, my wife is treating the under served in a remote South American village. I can almost see my hand in front of my face during another Iraqi dust storm.

This time both countries don't start with "I," but both countries do play host to Leishmaniasis.

I don't know where we'll be for our next anniversary, but it would be nice to be there together.

All Alone

2009-07-01T10:29:00.000-07:00

We encountered a truck with the audacity to drive on the road on the way back from dinner. One of the guys shouted at the truck, harrassing them for fun, complaining that it wasn't a road but a sidewalk. In the vehicle, that was able to make all of 2 mph at most due to the volume of pedestrian traffic going to or from the chow hall, were a few Airmen. On their way to chow.

One of the guys I was with mentioned that this truck was driving the very short distance to the chow hall. One of the other guys feigned surprise over the need to drive such a short distance.

Someone then simply said "Air Force," as if that was sufficient to explain lazy fat people that couldn't be bothered to walk to the source of their deep-fried fix for the evening.

I felt a need to stand up for the Air Force. Even if in this case we deserved. Before the word "hey" was out of my mouth, one of the guys said there's only one of you... so just nod and say yes.

Serves me right for eating every night with a bunch of Army dudes, I guess.

Today's other lesson learned was that my feelings toward PTing in the middle of a shift is are mixed. PT is fun. But I had a small window so I just hit the gym in my uniform and swung the kettlebell around in my t-shirt, ACU pants, and boots.

I came back to work a sweaty mess. That was less than pleasant.

So in the future, I should probably just stick to PT before and/or after work.

And so, I'm off to the gym.

The Anti-Climax

2009-06-30T10:19:00.000-07:00

Well June 30 has come. June 30 has gone. Tomorrow will be July 1, which has been declared a national holiday by the Iraqis.

We still have to work (It's OK...there at still three seasons of Scrubs that I have yet to watch on our entertainment drive...).

We didn't get to have a parade either. Yes, I asked. I just figured we could drive around Balad in our NTV's, honk the horns, flash the lights, and maybe fire wildly in to the air out of respect for the local customs.

I'd even completed PMCS on one of the vehicles to make sure it was ready. And it becaues it was my turn. I didn't wash the car even though it was on the checklist. I said I wasn't going to wash it.

I forecasted a dust storm.

We got it.

The car looked dusty before. It looks dust now. The clean cars all look dusty now too.

I win. Or I thought I did until one of the senior NCOs pointed out to me at dinner that last summer's weather guy kept the dust away. My award was in danger of not being approved. This led a warrant officer to jump on the bandwagon and mock me for briefing the boss the other night that he would not need to choose between hot and dusty because he would get both over the next few days.

I just asked the warrant officer to describe the weather for me at the moment. Hot. Dusty.

I win.

And in case any one is worried, the Senior NCO was just giving me crap. Last summer actually set records for dust in Iraq.

This particular Senior NCO continues to be a font of wisdom. He was telling some hysterical stories from working as an evaluator at the last phase of one of the SOF training courses.

His conclusion: "Being on the clippie side of the clippie board is much better than being on the non-clippie side."

Oddly, we all knew exactly what he was talking about.

But back to the local news... some one here was complaining about the coverage on CNN. I agreed. It was confusing. I keep hearing about withdrawals and draw downs, but we're all still HERE.

The JOC director told me to ignore the news. I'm not going anywhere.

So one day, apparently, this JOC will be all mine.

Perspective

2009-06-29T10:33:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's because I'm the weather guy and my specialty straddles the Action Guy/Support Guy line, but I have a hard time getting too caught up in how cool Special Operations troops are. I have the utmost respect for what my peers have accomplished and what it takes to join these units. Admittedly, I kind of slid in the back door.

All that said, it doesn't change the fact that we have specialized missions but we aren't the only ones facing risks and killing bad guys. One the guys I was eating chow with made a comment about everyone trying to be special. It is one thing for a support troop to claim to be a Special whatever as opposed to either taking pride in what they did to make missions happen or manning up and trying out to be a Special whatever. It is another to forget that conventional forces do longer tours, ran the convoys, and did it without all of the specialized support.

I had to point out that a lowly transportation troop probably has multiple combat rotations, has run thousands of convoys, been blown up mulitple times, and probably been a few fire fights. Meanwhile, we have made some slides.

This isn't to minimize what we are doing, as tedious as it seems sometimes, but a reminder that just about everyone here is doing their job to get the missions done. Just becaues their job won't ever be featured in a movie, it doesn't mean it isn't vital to the war effort.

Though the odds of me using all my cool guy training to do something other than refine my powerpoint skills, I'm still collecting cool guy toys just in case.

I got two Army Combat Shirts from supply. A new pair of glasses (not cool, but I needed a new pair since my others broke). A second set of prescription inserts for my ballistic goggles. I may be getting issued a flight suit so I can travel home in comfort--if I actually fly anywhere in theater I'd rock the Combat Shirt since it is also fire-resistant and fits better under my armor.

I also have many cases of MREs at my disposal. Nice to have that problem pretty much solved.

Unfortanately I lost whatever cool points I had. My sister baked us some wonderful chocolate cookies with white chocolate chips. Awesome. But the crumbled up in transit... less awesome. Once we ran out of chunks I resorted to eating the crumbs with my spork.

Not even a folding titanium spork can make that cool.

I don't care cause the cookies were good.

Tangible Accomplishments

2009-06-28T06:31:00.000-07:00

We were walking by some construction when one of my friends said that he should be a carpenter. Keep in mind he spent over two years getting trained for his current specialty in a course with a very high attrition rate. Because we are all becoming friends, we made fun of him.

But we also all sympathized. Here we are, highly trained and motivated troops, editting powerpoint slides. I'm fortunate in that I get to make my own slides. We do this with the knowledge that we are enabling the teams in the field to get the job done. We also look at the guys working in the summer heat fixing things and are envious of the feeling of accomplishment they must have.

We decided that we should be able to make something. Nothing fancy. Maybe just a T-barrier. It will be our, the JOC Staff's, lasting legacy to Joint Base Balad. We can write our names or initials in the barrier before the cement dries.

The carpenter-wannabe mentioned our plan to another friend of his. She's in too.

It probably won't happen. But why dream small?

It also looks like my food issues will be resolved. I got a call from supply giving me a point of contact at the Chow Hall who should have everything just about set. Hopefully more to follow on that.

As for the choice between hot and miserable or cooler and very dusty, I'm not sure which I prefer. I think hot and miserable, but variety is nice.

If you can make a panini 24/7...

2009-06-27T11:20:00.000-07:00

A few days ago at chow we were discussing a certain individual that has since gone home. During his tour here a health and welfare inspection of his room discovered multiple water bottles full of pee.

Apparently the walk to the flushing toilets was too much at night. Or so we like to assume. I guess there could be other motives but we don't want to know. And why did he keep them?

Anyway, it was agreed that if there are flushing toilets and running water for showers, you don't need to pee in a bottle.

If you have a room with four walls, electricity, air conditioning, and cable TV then you don't need to be peeing in bottles.

If there is a functioning chow hall with regular hot food and a sandwich bar complete with panini maker 24/7, then you have no excuse for peeing in a bottle.

We could go on. If you have a Green Beans coffee down the road, if you have large PX's, etc.

For the record, I do have cable in my room, but I do not have a TV and have no need for one. I enjoy the break. I work. I PT. I eat. I read. I get my news on-line during work and there are flatscreens in the JOC w/AFN News. So I get all the news the internet and the worst of cable talk shows on demand while on duty.

The crazy array of comforts on this post led to a similar talk of the situation off post on our way back from chow today. One of the guys misses being on a team where they could go out into the towns, stop in the souk, get tea, and just be with people. In all reality, we could probably grab one of the SUVs, drive it right out the gate here and stop in a market. Maybe get a cold soda, maybe tea, and just chill with Iraqis.

The most dangerous part would be trying to get back through the base security checkpoint in a beat up old SUV. Not that they'd ever let us off post in the SUV in the first place, but that's besides the point.

There are definitely places where we couldn't do that. But there are places back home where we wouldn't want to do it either.

It's not perfect here, but I'm not exagerating either. Especially if we could go out of uniform so it was clear we were just people out to spend a few bucks and enjoy the 118F/48C weather and not there to monkey stomp their cousin the terrorist, it would likely be fine.

If we made a habit of it we'd probably be targeted by some nasty kidnapping cell.

Babysteps.

And in other news, the group rifle buy is moving forward in a hilarious manner. Since my neighbor is the coordinator, the rest of us in the row have become his agents. People come by with questions, we take messages or have the answers.

Today we counseled an SF troop on caliber options, configurations, and the terminal ballistics of the calibers for which upper receivers are available for either AR-15 or AR-10 lowers.

He is looking for a hunting rifle for his children that is lightweight and can be configured as either a small caliber plinking/practicing gun and also as a larger caliber deer gun. His kids are already experienced hunters but there are ergnomic advantages for them to exploit here.

I think we helped.

Yes, it is an evil-black-super-innocent-people-die-just-by-being-in-its-presence-assault-rifle. Not that it matters. But it's fun to poke some times.

Flaming Pile of Dog Poo

2009-06-25T06:28:00.000-07:00

Hypothetically...

If you give yourself an arbitrary internal deadline to push a product, but as the deadline approaches you know that the product does not work, do you:

a) Push the product anyway
b) Delay the release
c) Delay the release and check with the end users to make sure that the product is something desired in the forst palce
d) Push the product anyway without consulting with the enduser, do it in a way that undermines the functionality of various products without warning, and then ensure that systems crash in order to divert attention from the bad product to the bad service... all while fighting wars on multiple fronts

Guess which one the Air Force chose?

My computer just about melted due to the use of various phrases that are not in spellcheck in my initial response to the new products.

Then I took a few deep breaths. I ascertained the grid coordinates of the people responsible and began filling out a 9 -line request for an airstrike.

I decided that would be too impersonal and might negatively impact some friends I have that work in the same buildings.

So I wrote a professional but scathing critique and sent it up the chain like a good little staff officer. I continued to creatively distort the English language in ways that did, in fact, disturb some old sailors. Well, I got some funny looks anyway. But on the record I was a professional.

It was less than satisfying.

I did, however, close the Level 1.5 Gripper with both my right and left hands. It is entirely possible that I will be physically capable of crushing the thick hollow skulls of the eggheads who prematurely pushed these stupid products with my bare hands.

I don't actually want to crush their skills with my bare hands. It would be really gooey and their special brand of stupid is probably contagious. But to be able to do it...

Waiting...

2009-06-24T06:33:00.000-07:00

My knee is feeling better again so I'm trying to ease back in to my PT routine. Have to fous on form and be careful, but it'll be fine.

I think the reduced PT schedule contributed to my going a little stir crazy. That and the relatively slow pace of things.

I'd say that there is this Waiting for Godot quality to our routine but that would be really pretentious and I've have to punch myself. We do show up everyday trying to believe something is going to happen, and--unlike the existentialist drama of some silly play I read in high school--things are happening, but we are too removed to feel it most of the time.

I often complain that news coverage of the wars is usually behind events on the ground. Oddly, it seems our development and withdrawal of complex headquarters structures/infrastructure is simply out of phase with the state of the war.

Now that we are withdrawing from the cities, and preparing to drawn down in numbers period, we have multiple layers of sophisticated command centers in place. Whether that is ever a good thing is a bit of an open question due to the temptation and technological capability to micromanage to an unimaginable degree. Here, however, I think it is just becoming an inefficient use of manpower.

The good thing is that at least the lesson is being learned, even as bigger gyms are being built for smaller numbers of troops. Technology will enable us to do certain command and support functions from the rear without having to build up and maintain as large of a fielded presence.

It is like being witness to a revolution of sorts. We are grappling with how best to implement new technologies and networked command capabilities.

Of course, while the volume of information and the speed with which it can be available is new, there is still something timeless about the end result.

People back home can see incredible footage from aircraft video feeds and satellite broadcasts. In the end, as in generations past, it is still only made possible by a bunch of exhausted, dirty, and scared kids holding that ground.

It would be familiar to and soldier that has ever had to march on tired feet, carrying an every growing load, and fight. Only we may have UAV's in overwatch, death from above on call through the radio, we haven't had to play a home game in almost 150 years.

And our toys are better now. Almost got more free stuff. Apparently we are authorized two combat shirts from supply. Combat shirts are one of those nifty innovations that involves a hybrid of a moisture-wicking t-shirt with the sleeves of a uniform jacket; all made of a flame resitant material. Wear one layer rather than a t-shirt plus uniform jacket. I may also get a flight suit.

Sweet.

And... I got a giant package today.

The cookies won't last long. Some people were complaining that many of the cookies broke into small pieces and crumbs. Those same people have yet to let me put the bag away.

I had two cookies and decided to eat an apple. I love cookies. But I'm trying to be a good boy too.

It also has lots of food and mulitiple issues of The Economist. Those are at least as a big a hit as the cookies. The best part, as was pointed out, is that once you are through with the cookies, or more properly, once the cookies are through you, you then grab The Economist and do your business.

The circle of life in a USPS box.

The box also contained lots of very nice notes from friends back home. That was a really nice touch.

Thank you, everyone.

Now, the other thing I learned courtesy of the box was that one of the new guys is an Ohio State graduate (as you can see, the strain of these wars has forced even SOF to lower our standards).

He saw that a copy of the Michigan Alumnus magazine was included in my care package and declared that I'd have to be sent back as if going home early would be a punishment. Like I said, an Ohio State grad.

As a new guy, we are hazing him appropriately. At the chow hall a note was left on his tray by my neighbor. The note, chicken scratch on a napkin, said we hate you and want the current guy to stay. The current guy had a good laugh.

The new guy had a good laugh too, so he should fit in fine. We aren't too worried about him because, aside from the OSU thing, he meets the prerequisite for his job.

His last name starts with "B." That is three straight guys that have sat in that seat that have a last name starting with "B."

Marking Time

2009-06-23T06:28:00.000-07:00

One of the people I was coordinating with was excited because he has less than one month left until he goes home.

One of my the guys on my team asked me how long I've got left. It was more rhetorical since I flew in with him and I'm flying out with him.

I said I pretty much am here until I leave. I mark time by events. So certain people leaving are milestones.

My wife leaving for Peru was a milestone.

Her staring to work on the clinic there is a milestone.

Her coming home is a milestone.

Oddly, kind of like last time, the big events I use to mark time are what my wife is doing.

Anyway, the other guy on my team handles it similarly. He doesn't bother paying too close attention to the calendar until the last month. If he actually leaves on time, great. If not, so it goes.

So as long as Iran doesn't completley implode or North Korea doesn't get too frisky and we don't get extended/stranded, then we'll be home roughly on schedule.

Whatever.

In the mean time, my wife starts work on the clinic next week.

And I hate sand fleas.

Catching Up

2009-06-22T06:16:00.000-07:00

So I was perusing our pile of gun magazines with my SEAL buddy here discussing equipment and joking about what movie or TV show to watch from the Entertainment Server when I mentioned that deployments are the time to catch up on movies and TV shows I've missed. Strangely, it's become kind of true.

Last time I was idealistic and resisted it. This time I have no qualms about having some silly movie on in the background or taking a quick break for a commercial-free episode of Scrubs or Robot Chicken.

As for the pile of gun magazines... we may be on some kind of watch list. They just kind of multiply. Courtesy of internet networking, I "know" some of the authors now and "know" the designers of some of the equipment being reviewed. Actually, some the folks I've met in person.

Besides, we must be true to stereotype.

In an effor to feel useful while my wife dealt with a minor infection on her finger I consulted the local experts in dirt medicine. He told me to keep it clean and apply anti-biotic ointment, oral anti-biotics if available. And use clean drinking water to wash it off, not the local tap water or whatever.

So nothing earth shaking. Nothing she wasn't already very on top of. But I was trying to feel useful.

Happy Father's Day!

2009-06-21T10:05:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day to my Dad and all the other Dad's out there in the real world. I may have accidentally ruined a surprise about desert for him tonight. Oops.

As for out here, I was a little surprised that they didn't have a cake or something for Father's Day. They had a cake for the Army's birthday. They had a cake or something for Mother's Day.

It's also a funny holiday here because a lot of the guys here are fathers and so rather than kids calling home it is the dad's calling home. Yeah, a similar thing happens on Mother's Day here but it is less pronounced.

Workwise, as the lead weather guy for SOF here, my attitude is that it is more important that we--the SOF weather forecasters--be coordinated than that we be right. Being right is obviously important. But if we are not coordinated and are all saying something different, then the planning process breaks down and resources aren't allocated optimally. And if we are coordinated then it is likely we will have collaborated on the forecast and will enjoy some type of synnergy leading to a better forecast anyway. However, I prioritize all of us saying the same thing over any one of us being perfectly accurate by ourselves.

Usually we're successful. Every now and then the system breaks down. When all the weather folks aren't all repeating the same thing then a weird game of telephone happens. Some dude will remember whichever of the various forecasts that he liked. He will then repeat it to his buddy, who will repeat whatever he remembered, and so on until the commander is making decisions based on a mix of our briefs and rumor. If we are all repeating the same thing, this is less likely to happen. Nip it in the bud.

I am happy to report that the Chow Hall is stocking Health/Protein Shakes again. I am building my own stash. I know that if everyone is hoarding things from the chow hall then we will all run out faster. I know that by hoarding it that I contribute to this. But I also know that if I don't hoard them, then I will run out faster than everyone else who is hoarding them.

There is a lesson in there.

Besides, I'm sure the limit of 2 drinks applies to each pocket, not to each person.

Shameless Self-Promotion

2009-06-20T10:44:00.000-07:00

I wrote up my citation and my partner's citation. He shoud edit it and then we'll finalize it and turn them in. I tried to put in what my goals were for this trip but ground it in what we've already done. The citation the last guy wrote for himself listed some grandiose plans for the future that may have seemed plausible when he was drafting it early in his rotation but none of which seemed to have happened. So yes, he got an award that has fantasy and dreams for its official narrative.

If I was feeling lazy, I would have just swapped out my name for his and called it a day.

Hopefully, everything I listed comes to some sort of fruition. If not, then what I have is a bit overstated, but still valid. If so, well then it will be slightly understated. Not to be too cynical, but the award will be same either way and I'm not doing any of it for the oak leaf cluster on my Joint Comm anyway.

I had dinner with some SEALs. They have their own unique culture. I was more observing than participating. They were telling stories about a Platoon Chief that had all the new guys so scared that they literally hid in closets. Or about some big dude that was told he was no longer allowed to wrestle with new team mates because they were being found semi-conscious in the team room and it was disconcerting.

It was also interesting because a good chunk of their officers were enlisted SEALs before getting their commissions. They were commisserating with a senior NCO about new young officers that don't realize that they are no longer NCOs and that their jobs and relationship with their men has changed.

Officers that still think they are NCOs are probably a bigger pain for the other NCOs and Senior NCOs than anyone else. The guy ends up micromanaging the NCOs or trying to do their jobs for them. Meanwhile the higher level admin and top cover functions don't get done or fall on the Senior NCO, who then doesn't have time to run the day to day ops they way he should.

I'm off to the gym now. Knee is feeling better. We'll test it out on the rower, work our way up to the treadmill again.

Networking

2009-06-19T06:35:00.000-07:00

I went to visit the lead conventional weather team here at Balad today. Nominally it was to pick up some paperwork but really it was to put faces with names. Internet chat and email are great but nothing beats an actual personal relationship.

The Senior NCO there has done a great job. Last time that unit caused us all sorts of headaches. He saw some of the issues from the sidelines and vowed to fix it if he was ever over here. Well, he's here and he mostly has.

I just hope it continues when his replacement takes over. Continuity too often is lost from rotation to rotation. Unlike SOF, where we will go and go and go, many of the conventional folks tend to go once and not go back for a while and probably won't hit the same place twice. There are exceptions, but that seems to be how it goes in big Air Force Weather.

My knee is recovering nicely. I stubbornly gave the elliptical another shot. A little less weird. Well, less jarring, but still weird. I don't know what kind of motion it is, but I got a rhythm going. I'm sure I accomplished something since I was tired and sweaty afterwards.

Tonight is my night off of PT and tomorrow night I think I'll test out the rower again. We'll see how it goes.

Biblical Dust

2009-06-18T06:11:00.000-07:00

I had to take my "Biblical Dust" comment out of my breifing slide. The JOC Director nixed it.

However... as soon as I briefed my slides, the wall of dust hit and the visibility outside was reduced to ZERO.

When I saw myself in the mirror after walking from the JOC to my hooch I saw what I will look like with gray hair.

If you're curious, I will look distinguished. Of course.

Somehow I got motivated to go back in to the dust to hit the gym and try an elliptical machine. I won't try that again. The motion is nothing like my natural stride, the controls are weird on these machines, and IT IS NOTHING LIKE A NORMAL MOTION.

I'll go back to the rower or a bike for low-impact work while my knee recovers.

I also sent a picture of the satellite image of the dust to some of my troops back home that are headed this way. The beatings will continue until morale improves.

Anyway, once again I have to say that having a SOF-only chat room for weather coordination is a life saver. It doesn't change the weather or anything, but provides a nice steamvent. We all know each other. We can joke. We can complain. It's nice.

Also, to freak out my mother (and maybe my wife, but I likely talk to her soon and she will have already vetoed it--as she should), one of my buddies here has organized a group buy for AR-15 parts kits. You have to put it together yourself, which is a good experience anyway, but then you have a fully functional rifle at an incredible price. It's very tempting because the price is incredible.

We all enable each other's bad habits. We all have overlapping if not the same interests and way too much time spent eating internet bandwidth.

Oops.

2009-06-17T06:33:00.000-07:00

I learned a great way to annoy a Texan. When they have a Texas flag either in their yard or hanging from their rear-view mirror or on a sticker on their truck (one of the three is almost guaranteed), ask them why they are flying a Puerto Rican flag.

For my more sensitive readers, this is not to say that there is anything wrong with the Puerto Rican flag or that all Texans are racist (and I'm guessing that any reader who immediately wondered what was wrong with flying the Puerto Rican flag is also the kind of person who assumes all Texans are racists of some kind). But the two flagg look just enough alike to plausibly be confused for each other and Texans, especially those flying the flag, are particularly proud of being Texan. And there are a lot of them in the military--be they natural born Texans or those who claim the residency for tax purposes.

I was also reminded by a doctor that I am, at the most basic level, an idiot as well. It fits well with the Scott Admas theory of humanity. I went in cause my knee was bothering me. I probably hit the treadmill too hard, too fast without letting my body adjust to the impact. He asked how long it had been bothering me. I told him.

Then he asked what I'd been taking for it. I told him a mix of naproxen and Vitamin M (Motrin... the military cure-all). He asked if I'd been taking them together. I said no. Gee, I'm not THAT dumb. Then he asked how often I'd been taking them. I told him periodically, and neither one consistently, usually whatever was at hand.

So he, the wisened old doc, shook his head and told his aid to go grab some naproxen. They have pre-measured baggies with the direction cards all set. They see a lot of pulled muscles, over-training injuries, etc. here. Too many hooahs with too little to do but hit the gym.

Anyway, he admonished me to stick with the one medication, take it regularly, and ice my knee. He even gave me an ice pack.

I know better. I've been through this before. I'll be through this again. Lesson learned.

This time.

He also told me to hit the pool and use the eliptical for a while. I've been meaning to hit the pool. Now I really need to. Fortunately, the SEALs go pretty regularly. All goes well, I'll hitch a ride with them. They'll laugh at me, do mulitple laps for every one of mine, and maybe I'll pick up some tips.

The other incentive to recover so I can PT hard again is that I am rapidly collecting sodas. I'm not much of a soda drinker, but they make a simple currency for bets. I was having a chat room "discussion" with one of the other weather guys about a forecast. I disagreed with him, my peers in SOF disagreed with him, but he owned the official airfield forecast (as opposed to the mission forecasts, which he doesn't need to know). Finally, since it was getting circular, I cut off the discussion with a Coke bet. If we're right, he owes me a Coke. If not, I owe him.

Getting into a prolonged internet fight seemed unprofessional. We'd stated our positions and reasoning. He wasn't going to budge. As the lead weather guy for my element I made the decision to end it for now with a face-saving friendly gesture, lest it get out of hand.

Anyway, I haven't lost a Coke bet yet.

In other news, today is fat pill day. First, one of the guys has a friend who works for Utz Potato chips. This friend shipped us a box full of a variety of flavors of chips. I've got one snack bag of BBQ and one Natural Gourmet Medley.

Then one guy got cookies from his sister. So we all had cookies.

Good day.

I also hit the PX and got a new battery for my super cool giant Suunto watch. This will allow me to finish recharging my super cool giant Casio solar-powered watch.

My big accomplishment for the day was closing the Level 1 Captain of Crush grip strength spring thing. 150 lbs of pure crush in these fists. I may end up buying the Level 1 off my neighbor when he leaves so that we can continue the circle of crush. In time the level 1 will become easy and I will need the 1.5 or the 2 and will sell the 1 to my neighbor's replacement when I leave.

And to see if people are paying attention, I put "Biblical Dust" in my powerpoint slides. I guess people do read what I put out because I've gotten a few laughs.

But I just got here!

2009-06-15T10:25:00.000-07:00

So, I'm past the one quarter point here. Things are slow but time is passing quickly enough. In fact, time is passing so fast that I've already been told to submit my awards package for this rotation with a deadline in the next few weeks.

Maybe I'm cynical but I think it cheapens the tour award if it is requested and approved by the half-way point of the term. Granted, unless you cause a major international incident or really really screw up, you will leave my job with a Joint Service Commendation Medal. I knew that going in.

They hated the guy I replaced here and he got one. The liked his partner. He got one. I guess that ruins the suspense of whether the award will be approved.

It's in stark contrast to how the folks here rate their troops. For actual career-affecting performance reviews, they enforce the standard. They do it hard.

One guy, apparently a complete dirt bag, just got his performance review. It was a career ender specifically drafted to stunt him at his current rank because he was over-promoted in the past and is apparently a horrible troop.

Well, to make sure the point got across, one of the senior NCOs here called a buddy of his that runs the bad troops career field just to make sure he knew how much of a dirtbag this guy is.

It may sound vindictive, but really it's restorative. This bad troop was coddled for many years. He ended up in his current position because rather than fire him, his last unit took the proverbial dead squirrel and tossed it in to our yard. This had probably gone on for many years.

That's not how these guys play here. They like to solve problems and aren't shy about telling people what they really think.

Though planting rumors among the dirtbags peers to tell him not to sign his performance report may be a little over the line. If he signs it then he can later appeal to have the bad report removed from his record. If he doesn't sign it, he can't appeal and so it will weight him down for a while (history says this guy will likely earn future bad reports if his command has the guts to write them... unless he learns and fixes it). It is a little funny too.

After a series of screw ups and over all bad behavior a Senior NCO called down the office the dirtbag was working in. The dirtbag answered the phone. The Senior NCO hung up. The Senior NCO then called again. Dirt bag answered. Senior NCO hung up. Finally, the third time, the dirtbag answered the phone yet again and the Senior NCO thundered through the line: "[Dirtbag's name], put a real soldier on the phone please."

At least the dirtbag was answering the phone.

Meanwhile, while I was checking my email real fast in the MWR hooch last night and calling home, some contractor came in wearing perfume. I also saw a soldier in the chow hall looking clownish with make up. Maybe they want to feel lady like, I don't know. But, really? Really?

As for un-lady like behavior... a new female officer here has, in a few short days, discussed in detail her bowel movements, a drunken injury, and the finer points of a certain type of movie in Korea that you won't find in foreign film festivals.

Not much to say about that. Definitely nothing that can be said in this venue.

So I'll close with this... my neighbor's wife is pregnant. We've been getting regular updates and ultrasound images.

It looks like a person now.

Laugh or Cry

2009-06-14T06:02:00.000-07:00

So there are some things here that just leave me befuddled.

One of them is a new officer at another post that has to coordinate some things with my neighbor. This young officer is either incredibly lazy or incredibly dumb... or both. He claims that his troubles are based on the fact the he is inexperienced with computers. For some people I can sympathize. For an officer in the modern Army and a recent college graduate, I find it hard to believe. Even the guys majoring in "Mario Kart" (OK, technically they were majoring in Sociology, but they spent much more time playing Mario Kart while high) in my dorm had a basic computer competency. Every military specialty relies on a basic computer competency these days. In short, the basic level of computer competency to check email and do work processing that he has demonstrated is all he should need to do his job. That this is the kind of person who probably used wikipedia for most of his research projects in his bogus liberal arts degree program (I'm not saying liberal arts degrees area all bogus, but I do know that no engineering or science grad would ever use lack of computer skills as an excuse) means he definitely has the basic internet skills to do his job. It's pitiful.

There are also some odd breakdowns in accountability that seem to have developed as an unintended consequence of all the mini-headquarters that popped up everywhere. Instead of supervising they micro-managed. These various HQs startd doing some basic administrative tasks that should have been done at the lower levels in order to justify their own existences. This has allowed some lower level units to get sloppy with things.

This feeds back in to the issue with that young officer described above. He is an apparently lazy guy who lacks the knowledge to seek information from the lower levels at the HQ he works at. This means a breakdown below him won't get fixed because he hasn't taken the initiative to discover it in the first place. This creates a bigger mess that leaves the next level up too busy cleaning to correct the issues below. At the bottom, they don't care that they aren't communicating the needed info up because it gets fixed for them.

Then new people rotate in, everything switches over, and some of it gets passed on properly and some doesn't. What is passed on properly is maybe fixed or maybe ignored since the last team must have been stupid and the new team will do it all perfectly.

It's way out of my lane and I have no ability to influence this particular situation at all. But I can watch from the sidelines with a mix of shock and amusement. I can listen to buddies complain about it. And I can make a snide blog posts about it.

Nothing major, but in the long run I don't think it does anyone any favors.

Hilarity Ensues

2009-06-13T10:42:00.000-07:00

I will begin with the greatest headline I've ever seen: Is Jewish the New Black?
Came across it while reading the news, had to read the story.
http://www.theroot.com/views/jewish-new-black

As for local comedy, this morning I am going about my business, prepping my daily products, when I look over and notice that my SEAL buddy is doing push-ups. A litle odd, but not so odd. But it does gather a few looks from the others in the JOC as well. OK. He finishes his set. Nothing crazy.

But he didn't get up. He just stayed down at the front leaning rest (the starting up position of the push-up). So we have to ask. He says that he got a message on his computer that said drop.

He is pretty fresh from BUD/S and SEAL Qualification course where he would be told to drop pretty regularly until the instructor got tired. When he got to his team, he was the new guy and so there was a little bit of extra PT there too. So at this point he's been told to drop so often that, well, when a random computer message that appeared to be from a Senior NCO told him to drop... he did. And waited to be told to recover just as if he was still in a training environment.

While this was happening a Senior SEAL NCO watched and pretended not to notice. The young SEAL officer assumed that it was this particular NCO that dropped him for some unknown error. After a few minutes the Senior NCO walked out to do something without acknowleding his tiring officer. He came back. A smirk broke the surface. Then a smile.

The red-faced officer got up. We're still not sure who it was that actually sent him the message to drop, but we know it wasn't the purported sender.

A few of the other Senior NCOs took pity on him and explained that he isn't in a training environment anymore. An enlisted man, even a Senior NCO, will not drop someone who outranks them in the real world. In the real world, push-up may work as correction for young lower enlisted. If an Senior NCO or Officer screws up to that point, then a firm word in private or paperwork is in order.

He was getting kind of bored at his desk so the push ups were probably good for him anyway.

Dinner was also funny because I ate with some of the senior NCOs, warrant officers and one of the senior officers. It was both an enlightening and hysterical griping/planning session.

I did not get ice cream today but I did yesterday. One scoop. But it was one KBR scoop. None of the KBR employees would last long at an actual Baskin Robbins. They are very generous with the scoop. Two scoops here is a quart back home.

I don't know why everyone is so down on KBR.

That said, I just got my first case of Kosher MREs. Finally. One case is only good for about a week, but the gears are now in motion. What I really need to do is get the point of contact that our Chaplain uses and go directly to that person.

The other good news was that I've been cleared from my higher headquarters to really gather information on future plans here and set things up/make recommendations for how we'll support it.

I have to be careful because the good idea fairy and I are very close friends. This can get me into trouble. Fortunately my partner is a little more comfortable speaking freely to me about his ideas and input and I have some other people here I can bounce ideas off of.

The only problem is differentiating between rumors and actual plans.

As my Marine friend here said, life can be a giant game of telephone sometimes.

To avoid the silly miscommunications, face to face meetings are often helpful. So I went over and met my counterpart at the SOF Air Component last night. Walked over after my shift to say hi. Chatted for about two hours. She was nervous, her first time here, a little overwhelmed. I realized that although in my seat I'm not necessarily that busy, it gives me time to sit back and monitor how things are for the other weather folks. So I shared some stories, had some ideas on how she could find some new efficiencies, and work with her partner better. One of my "Captain" moments.

Hope I helped.

I guess we'll find out.

In Awe

2009-06-11T06:34:00.000-07:00

My military career has been far from conventional. It is not what I planned. Very frequently I wonder about this whole weather thing.

All that said, I look around here at the people I get to work with, I talk to my current boss and troops back home, and I see what the people I've worked for in the past are doing and I consider myself to have been very lucky.

A lot of names are being thrown around for the new leadership structure in Afghanistan. I'm not sure any of them would necessarily remember me beyond recognizing a face should we cross paths again (as happened briefly in the halls of the Pentagon this past summer) but I will always remember working for them and learning how things are supposed to be done.

In addition to being great warriors leaders and some having already inspired movies with their actions, they are truly great leaders. I have seen firsthand how they foster and direct healthy debates among subordinates.

Here, the work continues. Slow, steady, and a little repetitive.

I stopped by the Chaplain to check on food. May have a few cases of meals soon. Hopefully not more Passover food. I just can't eat those. They are not good. I'm a SERE graduate. But I can't eat those. Just way too heavy, greasy, and yet strangely unfilling.

Oh well.

I also put my most recent shipment of M&M's in the community candy basket. I'm trying to maintain my figure here.

My new armband and protective sleeve for my iPod came. I'll be testing those out tonight. A few nights ago I tried the rowing machine for a bit. It proved to be an excellent warm up for the treadmill. Tonight I'll find out if that was a weird night, an ice cream fueled super workout, or my new routine.

Fortunate Son

2009-06-10T10:53:00.000-07:00

So the little video of some recent operational highlights they showed us was set to the classic Fortunate Son. I think it's a great song. I'm just not sure they listened to the words before choosing it as the soundtrack for a movie about an all-volunteer force being trained by an all-volunteer force.

In a karmic moment that would make Earl proud (I wonder if that reference will make any sense in a few years...), the video crashed.

The commander was disappointed. He's a Credence Clearwater Revival fan.

I am too. Except their cover of "I heard it Throught the Grapevine" just doesn't do it for me.

I guess tonight's theme will be music. While I was waiting for the computer the contractor who runs the MWR hut was singing to himself again. It sounds a little like a Chinese Opera. That would be fine except he's not actually singing a Chinese Opera and, well, it sounds like a Chinese Opera.

My key accomplishment for the day was finishing the silly computer-based training modules for my Air Force class. Now to do the readings and take the tests and be done with it.

In work related news, while we as a community botched a recent forecast, we've been able to turn it in to a good learning experience. In addition to identifying some features that we missed, I and one of the other Senior NCOs in the country made a concerted effort to see if this experience revealed other deficiencies.

We both worked together to stop any useless finger pointing that was going on. Then we did identify some broken processes and came up with solutions. Some of them have already been implemented and will be tested the next time the weather goes to crap.

Working with this one particular Senior NCO is a great experience. We aren't in the same command but coordinate a lot of our efforts to get things done. He is very professional, very dedicated, and very smart. If he doesn't retire at the top of the enlisted rank structure then we are promoting the wrong people.

Back in the groove

2009-06-09T06:34:00.000-07:00

Well, I think we're back in a good groove. The weather threw us for a bit of a loop there but I think we were able to figure out what we missed and learn from it.

We'll find out soon enough.

Not much new to report. Stephen Colbert is in Baghdad. But I am not and streaming video is blocked on our work computers to save bandwidth. And Comedy Central's page is blocked, because, well I'm not sure. The policy is kind of random. But now I'm trying to play it on an MWR computer.

It is really great that he came out here. Apparently he couldn't get a kosher meal on the flight in either.

Family Foibles

2009-06-08T10:15:00.000-07:00

Gen Odierno requested that everyone read President Reagan's 40th anniversary of D-Day speech. Wow. You can find it here: http://www.historyplace.com/speeches/reagan-d-day.htm

RLTW

I'd also like to direct my readers to Fareed Zakaria's piece in Newsweek echoing Friedman echoing my frustration with the Obama speech. So it's not just that I'm biased because I'm sitting in Iraq and feeling neglected.

Anyway, today's theme seemed to be guys talking about their parents and grandparents. I'm not sure what started it but it kept coming up.

In some ways the chats were more about a way of life that is being lost. Their grandparents could make anything they needed with their hands. Even some of the older guys, their parents could make anything they needed with their hands.

One guy was telling the story of being on a satellite phone with his dad to ask about setting up some plumbing and wiring for their team house during one of his deployments.

My neighbor here was talking about how his wife's grandparents, who moved from Montana to Alaska cause it was getting crowded (OK, so really her grandfather got a job up there, but I've met people like that), keep everything. When one shed got full, they'd build another. Never know when you'd need it.

So I was telling stories about my Grandfather as well. I'm not sure how many people's families he managed to support by jotting down brilliant ideas on the backs of envelopes and napkins and then giving them away, but it wasn't just ours.

I'm not sure if those skills were the product of the depression, of shared military training from WWII, or just necessity in the days before hardware stores. All I know is all of us here, despite having our own mix of skills, are a little jealous when we talk about it.

Hank Williams Jr. and my SERE instructors were right: a country boy can survive.

At lunch one guy was telling crazy stories about his family. I guess they are a little, um, closed-minded. When he brought the woman who would become his wife to meet them they heard her last name and asked if she was a, well, they didn't use the word Italian. His mom;s only comment on his future wife's ethnicity was that her father (my friend's grandfather) had fought against the Italians in WWII. To this day his parents send a Christmas card addressed to him and family.

When they went to visit him once at his on-base house, there just so happened to have been a domestic dispute across the street that ended with a wife stabbing her husband. His parents arrived soon after the police. So they are all looking on the scene and apparently taking it all in.

My friend was going to comment on the crime scene across the street. Before he could say anything his dad, looking at another couple that was gawking at the scene, asked if that was really a white woman with a black man. My friend, stunned, just looked at his parents and shook his head.

He hasn't talked to them in six years. It's sad, but he doesn't really have much nice to say to them.

I almost had a really proud moment today. I picked up what I thought was the next level up in the grip strength trainers I squeezed it. I got it. YES!!!. So easy. Then I checked the label. It was still the beginner one.

I'm getting closer though. My soon-to-be-crush-skulls-with-my-pinky-strength courtesy of Captains of Crush.

I received my pelican case for my iPod. Nice.

My neighbor and I also showed each other pictures from our iPods. We both have pictures of ourselves with our respective wives from Destin, FL. I guess it should be expected that guys working in this community will have pictures from Hurlburt Field.

As for my actual work, I remarked to my neighbor today that I felt like I was missing something in my forecast. I was looking over the data and computer model output and something just didn't sit right with me.

I also mentioned that to another forecaster that I work very closely with. I told him the story of how last time I was here there some days like this where we got surprise thunderstorms. At the time my partner on the day shift (I was working nights) had 25 years of experience and his response was to just shake his head and say that it happens. Technology is only so good I guess.

Well, lo and behold, it happened today. Nothing major but some unexpected storms and light rain. I was surprised in the sense that it wasn't in the forecast I put out but not surprised in the sense that I had a gut feeling that something weird would happen.

So it goes.

Lies. Damn Lies. And Bad Reporting.

2009-06-07T06:10:00.000-07:00

First. Read Tom Friedman's piece in today's NY Times. I can scream it from this narcissistic internet soap box, but his soap box is bigger and more credible. Read it again. Embrace it.

So an embeded reporter has a responsibility to tell the truth. That truth may make us proud or it may shame us. But it will make us better.

When a reporter miserably and intentionally fails in that duty, it hurts the whole program. It breaks down the already frail relationship between the media and the military.

Sadly, a reporter for a popular left-wing magazine has done just that. A cover story coming out is a collection of myth, action-movie stereotypes, and negative spin.

I'll burst a couple bubbles here. When a mission is launched, weapons are supposed to be "locked and loaded." Even American SWAT missions are performed with weapons ready to fire. This isn't misplaced agression. This is being ready to instantaneously react to a lethal threat.

We don't first chamber a round to show we are serious. We don't then pull the hammer back to show that we are really serious. We point the weapon to show we are serious. If the suspect (we are more in a police-type advising role than a war role now) doesn't get the message, we shoot until the suspect becomes more compliant. It is the preferred option to getting shot.

The goal really is to arrest, interrogate, and put on trial. Dead men tell no tales and tend to undermine the rule of law.

When a mission to capture a terrorist is carried out, it is a good thing for them to surprised and suddently tied up before they know what is happening. That means the team is well-trained and carried out the raid properly. Potential threats to the team and to the suspect were eleminated without resorting to deadly force.

I am disgusted at how this reporter chose to cherry-pick semi-accurate facts to tailor his story to what his likely audience wants to believe. In doing so he disrespected the sacrifices of the Americans and Iraqis he wrote about.

He disrespected the role of US Special Forces in El Salvador, veterans of which I have had the honor of learning from. It is a common refrain among those Lenin called useful idiots that we trained death squads there and supported massive human rights violations. The facts remain that units with US advisors were professional and responsible. Atrocities did occur and were performed before US advisors were involved or by units without advisors. As part of the peace agreement, the rebels requested that US advisors remain because our efforts were seen as beneficial and our Special Forces were considered honest brokers and honorable fighters.

In short, I think the author is the worst kind of lowlife and he hurt both us and his profession. As for the readers, it is sad that they will eat this up unquestioningly. Too many people will either get all their news from Fox and The National Review or from MSNBC and The Nation and never know the real world.

Sadly, I pretty much expect Olberman to host the author of this story. He used to be funny.

Fortunately, on a lighter note, I've almost watched the entire first two seasons of Robot Chicken. It is immature, innapropriate, and satirizes every cartoon or action figure I watched/wanted/had growing up. It is brilliant.

My wife would hate it. Especially the skit about The Never Ending Story.

I called back to my home unit to check in and say hi since it is a drill weekend. I have a guy who will be mobilized soon and want to learn his goals for the trip. I know my goals for him. Once we're on the same page I can start precoordinating things for him with the unit he'll be working with.

Editted to add (8 June):
The story referenced above, Iraq's New Death Squad by Shane Bauer, can be found at this site--
http://www.thenation.com/doc/20090622/bauer

I want to thank my neighor from back home for not only taking time out of her very busy schedule to read my silly posts but to provide valuable input. She is right that the post wasn't grounded without a way for the reader to both see my critiques and see the story that inspired them.

Although some of the points that I made about operations were direct responses to the article, the whole issue of surprise raids with loaded weapons pops up fairly often.

They are supposed to be surprises and of course our weapons our loaded...

Quick Update

2009-06-05T06:21:00.000-07:00

So I've thought more about and decided that I think the big Cairo speech was a really happy and flowery mix of strategic incoherence and flawed comparisons.

Fortunately, the Muslim world, in as much as there is a single entity that can be called "the Muslim world," knows this as well and is waiting for actions to clarify the vague fog of soaring rhetoric that descended upon them.

The non-Muslim world is probably waiting too.

I also hear we are working on ending the genocide in Darfur. That probably means high level talks but no big speeches yet. I guess we'll be leaving the engaging with Omar al-Bashir to the ICC for now.

I guess I'm just cynical because I suspect that the coming change will involve mostly polishing the turd that is the status quo.

Otherwise, things here are good. I was getting tired during my morning PT when my Marine buddy started heckling me from a spin bike. I'd be tempted to tease him about being on a bike but I bike a lot back home and he'll be retiring with just about 100% disability due to the abuse his joints and back have taken over the years in the Infantry. In any case, I was re-motivated and banged out another three sets.

During my morning briefs I am finding that sarcasm and wit help mix things up. On a particularly good day weather wise I promised no impacts to operations due to weather and said that if I was wrong they could take out my neighbor and shoot him.

He wasn't amused. Something about betting his life on the call of a weatherman made him nervous. But I got a few smiles and laughs. I was amused.

On dusty days I try to brief the color the world will appear. Just a little hazy? Brown? Orange? Martian red? Or dark dark black because you'll have to close your eyes to avoid being sandblasted...

It's a beautiful country though. Really. It's just a bad location. It's neighbor Syria only exports dust and suicide bombers.

Is it wrong that a common joke here is that Syria is so stunted in its development they the only business is the import and re-export of foreign Jihadis? And that business is nowhere near what it once was from what I read in the papers.

Two Worlds

2009-06-04T20:23:00.000-07:00

I'd like to make another light-hearted posting about the silly goings on here. I would talk in detail about the horrible but hysterical things the female JAG officer said at lunch. Well, not in great detail, since this is a public site for families to read, but you get the idea.

But really I'm struck again by these incredible disconnects between the flowery words of our leadership over a whole host of issues and the real world.

It came out when I was on Gmail chat with a very close friend who will be working on the staff of what should be a key sub-committee in Congress. Rather than share the joy of a great new opportunity, I reacted rather cynically.

I do believe that the signature acheivement of that particular committee is an expensive boondoggle that will achieve all of its goals provided that the goals solely involve making the members feel good about themselves. I don't believe that that it will achieve much beyond the obvious "unintended consquences."

I guess anyone with a pet issue would and probably should be disappointed with our leadership. I can't help but use Iraq as a bit of a metric for how I measure the realism and seriousness of the public debate.

Today Iraqi Police and Iraqi Army units are operating throughout the country with their faces exposed to the public. In most places they really are trusted. They serve arrest warrants that must be approved by a judge. Evidence is collected so as to put those captured on trial for their crimes.

There are still terrorist attack. Recently there was a car bomb driven by an 11-year old boy. Really. And I am unashamed to say that I have a deep seated hatred for the particular brand of evil that will use a child to target innocent people. No, Mom, if we had only been nicer and offered the planners and bomb makers a better education they would not all be good citizens. Sorry. People were nice to Sayyid Qutb when he came to Colorado fifty years ago to get a degree... he used his education to start a movement. We began advanced SERE training in preparation for this trip by watching videos of what his movement's current members would do to us if captured (to know that beheadings occur is one thing, to see how it is done truly focuses the mind). Harsh, but it isn't discussed enough in polite company and I think this fear of honesty corrupts our own debates. Also, meat doesn't come from grocery stores.

Back on topic, there are many common criminals. There are many corrupt officials. And yet, I'm fairly optimistic that soon this will be a much better place to live than Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Saudi Arabia, etc. Yemen, sorry, Yemen is rough. The UAE, Bahrain, and Qatar have their issues, but it'll take Iraq a while to get there. But in many little ways Iraqis are making this country their own in ways that they never could before. For all it's imperfections, in the end, it is the Iraqis who are and have to do the work.

Last time one of the defining moments for me was when a group of Sons of Iraq arrived as a Quick Reaction Force in support of our soldiers. This time it is too early to tell. But already I'm wondering if June 30 will be an anti-climax. What will the elections bring? Will the Arab media continue to snub these elections even though they are more open and fair than any in their home countries? Or are the sectarian elements just biding their time? I think some may be but they've been overcome by events. I'll find out. Maybe some people back home will find out too since the big events are all scheduled during re-run season.

Now, a massive invasion and poorly planned follow-on is definitely not the best way to foster these advances. But neither is pretending it isn't happening and treating Iraq 2009 as is Iraq 2006 in the grand curative speech. The speech was not the place to celebrate the accomplishments of Americans in Iraq, but it was the time to force both regional governments and populations to acknowledge the accomplishments of the Iraqi people and to support them--especially if all people do have aspirations of a responsive and accountable form of government as President Obama claimed. I am disappointed that Iraq was treated soley as something to apologize for and wish didn't happen.

In the end, yesterday was just a speech. Although it wouldn't surprise me if they tried and sold one as such, a speech can't cure cancer and a speech won't actually reset anything. But a campaign promise was kept and Cairo street vendors got to make a buck selling unlicensed t-shirts.

The Muslim world was treated as a monolith. Despite the grand concept of one Ummah, it is no more a monomlith than the communist world was twenty years ago. A speech alone won't mark a break from the continued policies of that bygone era of supporting any autocrat any our side, and I'm pretty sure that the continued disconnect between the freedoms we preach and the dictators realpolitik compels us to support is a bigger source of continued frustration than the Israeli-Palesitinian conflict (true courage would have condemned poor treatment of Palestinians throughout the region rather than just within territory controlled by Israel... but this was editorial courage). So, we'll see.

I do think the current team has the potential to be much more competent than the last one in redoing our relationships with this region. But they are blinded by their own arrogances as well.

I apologize for the disjointed nature of this post. I don't really have time to go back and edit and reorganize it.

Pavlov's Laser

2009-06-03T21:19:00.000-07:00

Pavlov's laser is how one of the warrant officers is summoned for meals by the ranking officer in the JOC. This warrant officer sits far away. Rather than shout, the senior officer just points a green laser at the front wall and swirls it around. If something comes up and they have to wait, he uses a red laser pointer.

At one point he also used the green laser to call the warrant officer over for work issues, but the warrant officer was strangely hungry each time and so they stopped. Instead they shout.

One of the other warrant officers warned them this would happen.