Our Secret Weapon

I know now why we are destined to win this long struggle against totalitarian militant murderous pedophiles and misogynists that hide behind Islam.

It is not because we are better people than the bad guys, though we are. Really. "Bad guys" isn't just a generic term for the enemy. They are really very bad people.

It's not because of superior resources. Though we have access to resources and logistics that are almost beyond the imagination.

It's not because of tenacity or staying power (see Rep. Obey's comments about deadlines for OEF).

It is because we are masters of Powerpoint.

Embedded animations.

Linked documents.

Gen Pershing had to resort to crude efforts like dipping bullets in pork fat and burrying terrorists with pigs because Powerpoint didn't exist yet.

Us? We have the newest versions.

We can't lose.

Well, we do have one fatal flaw. Apparently we are all drunk drivers that are addicted to chewing tobacco that ride motorcycles without proper protective gear and keep forgetting to volunteer for the service bands.

But courtesy of AFN commercials, we are reminded constantly and so we will be saved.

Every time the commercials come on, a buddy of mine complains that AFN is telling him how to live his life.

I told him that if he would start freaking listening for once, maybe they'd stop nagging him.

Maybe I didn't say "freaking."

It was actually very funny at the time, but you probably had to be there, and had to have been here day after day after day after day after day....

That happened at lunch. When we got back my buddy found his slides had been tampered with. All the mission names had been switched to various references to G.I. Jane.

The great SEAL vs Green Beret movie war continues.